Enlivened Beings

Acts 2:1-21

Today we are going to talk about the Holy Spirit which is not something we do that often at least in the Presbyterian church. I think this is probably because we don’t know what to do with it. We know it is important- after all, we assert that it is one-third of the Godhead along with the Son and the father and yet we hear way more about them than we do the HS. We assert that the HS is God’s spirit within us and that it plays a crucial role in our faith but we never talk about how or why or when. Is the HS that gut feeling you have, is it your convictions, is it common sense or is it some miraculous experience? it’s a mystery- it sounds like a cop-out but it really is a mystery. The spirit works differently in each person and in each culture and so there is not a universal way the spirit works but I think there are some universal characteristics of the spirit.  Even when the HS is breathed into humanity in Acts they don’t understand what is going on and they were there. Those who were watching accused these people of being drunk- but they are not drunk, they simply had God’s spirit breathed into them- it’s mysterious to even think about what it means that the spirit was breathed into living human beings and that God chose to do it this way or talk about it this way.

This event in Acts is called Pentecost because it happens 50 days after Easter and we celebrate it as the birthday of the church because it is the spirit that empowers God’s followers to go out and make disciples of all nations. The first thing that caught my attention is that there are about 40 days between when Jesus ascended and when this event happens which makes you wonder what all of Jesus disciples were doing during that time? I mean they must have felt pretty lost… the last few years of their lives have been dedicated to Jesus and his ministry and now he is gone. What now? Do they go back to how their lives were before? Do they wait for further instruction? When Jesus ascended in the gospel of Luke he said, to stay in the city until the power of God would come to them… so I’m guessing that’s what they were doing. They were waiting. 40 days is a long time to wait especially when you are not quite sure what it is you are waiting for. As I am writing this sermon I cant help but feel that this story feels familiar to me… I’m currently in a waiting period- a 40 week waiting period rather than 40 days but I am just waiting- for what comes next- I know it is a baby but lets be real no one knows what that experience will be like or how it will change your life until it actually happens. The disciples know they are waiting for something but they are not sure what and not sure how it will change their life. We are all waiting for the HS to tell us what now. We are all asking ourselves whats next? Where do I go from here? What is my next big life move? Are we ready to accept what we might find?

This story reminds us that what it means to live as a resurrected people is to live with God in us. Jesus died, resurrected, ascended and now he has sent his spirit among us so that we can live into this new life, into this resurrected life.

In Genesis it says that god breathed life into mankind- that is how he formed us. God gave us life and here once again God is giving us new life. God breathes his spirit upon all of us. The Hebrew word for spirit is ruach which means wind, or more so like breath. God is breath. God is in us. What if the HS is as essential to who we are as breath is, as breathing is. We do not have to constantly remind ourselves to breath, we just do. We are aware that we are breathing though because we are alive. I think the same may be true for the HS- I think the HS is an essential part of who we are and if we are more aware of this then we can live life more fully. Breathing ensures our physical life but the HS ensures our spiritual, emotional, and mental life. This is both magical and strangely simple.

So often we get frustrated and disappointed when we don’t see the HS working in our lives or we don’t hear the voice of the HS telling us what to do. We are waiting for an unmistakable sign and yes the HS definitely works that way but if we are continually waiting for those big signs we might miss out on the other ways the spirit is moving.  If we keep waiting for these big signs and we don’t get them, we can begin to think that we don’t have enough faith or that God is far away. But the primary responsibility of the HS is not to give us all the right answers but to enable us and empower us live as resurrected people which means living into the people he created us to be.

Jurgen Moltmann a theologian says in his book on the Holy Spirit,

 “The Spirit is more than just one of God’s gifts among others; the Holy Spirit is the unrestricted presence of God in which our life wakes up, becomes wholly and entirely living, and is endowed with the energies of life… People who ask for the Holy Spirit to come to us- into our hearts, into the community we live in, and to our earth- don’t want to flee into heaven or to be snatched away into the next world. They have hope for their hearts, their community and this earth. We don’t pray ‘Let us come into your kingdom’ either. We pray “Your kingdom come on earth as in heaven’. The petition for the coming of the divine Spirit to us frail earthly people implies a great, unbroken affirmation of life.”

If the spirit is the affirmation of life it is also the affirmation that Christ is here with us. We do not need to go to him because he is here with us and he through the HS is giving us the ability to live new life everyday.

 Look at Peter! Right before Jesus’ death he denied Jesus three times and now here he is proclaiming Jesus and defending these followers. That’s a powerful spirit that enables someone who couldn’t even be a follower to now be a leader. Peter must have felt ashamed and disappointed in himself for denying Jesus but he chooses not to live into that narrative but rather this alternative narrative of new life. This life where he is empowered to live into the ways God has called him to live. It is through the spirit that we are enabled to use our gifts and follow our passions.

I think one of the many gifts of living as a resurrected people is we get the chance to live into an alternative reality. The HS empowers us and gives us the strength to see things differently from the world. It is far too easy to be walking around with a view or perspective that sees things negatively or pessimistically. It’s much more powerful and freeing to go around with an optimistic view. Instead of automatically seeing the despair what if you saw the hope? Instead of automatically thinking about what could go wrong, you think about what could go right? Instead of automatically thinking you can’t or that thing wont happen or that’s impossible, you have faith that you can or that thing can happen or that many things are possible. The HS gives us an alternative perspective, an alternative reality to live into. Do you want to live into it?

it could involve our relationships, our passions, talents, joys, careers, hobbies. It could look like taking the open doors available to us, following our passions, continuing to say yes to opportunities. The spirit is empowering all people to live in new ways. And this infusion of the holy spirit is for all people, the text tells us it is for- women, children, young, old, slaves, free – all people.

Now some of you might already know where God is calling you- what that next step is and you just haven’t been able to make that first move yet.  Or maybe you really don’t know what is next or where the spirit is leading you. You feel like you don’t know where your life is going, You don’t know where you are called? Your purpose? you feel stuck? Alone? Afraid?  this passage gives us hope for those of us in that position. The HS was not sent on an individual but on a community . Good thing we have a whole community to help us discern the ways in which the spirit is moving in our personal lives and in our community. That is what we are here for. We are here to discern where God is moving together.  One of the other functions of the spirit besides empowering us to live as resurrected people is to share in life together. The spirit indwells in each of us so that we can indwell in each other giving us the union of God. Andrew Root says, “ a holy moment is an occurrence where the Holy Spirit moves, connecting person to person through sharing in brokenness, leading to the life of new union.” The Holy spirit is talked about as something that is in us but a more accurate depiction is that all persons are embodied spirit. By sharing in life together we are both fulfilling the work of the spirit and helping each other to discern where the spirit might be leading each of us uniquely.

And Prayer- prayer is essential to discerning how the spirit is leading us because prayer is our communication with God. The disciples had 40 days to pray and prepare for the coming of the holy spirit so that when it came they could discern what to do next. prayer is not just talking to God but it is also listening. Being silent and learning to become aware of how the spirit is working in your life. Doesn’t mean its going to be a whisper in your ear, it could just be as silent as breathing but over time your ear will become more attentive to how the spirit uniquely works  in you individually because the way it works in my life is different than yours.

Discernment of ones life can be one of the most frustrating and frightening experiences but we are called to live into an alternative narrative rather than one that speaks of discontentment, defeat, discouragement and denial of who God created us to be. Living into this alternative narrative will involve being open-minded about what that narrative will look like and trusting in the unknown but it is the only way forward for each one of our lives and for the lives we share together. Although this is risky and requires much faith we should rest in the hope that God has created this possibility of living into an alternative narrative if we are willing to let God change our stories.  Amen.

Prayer for unity

John 17: 20-26

The Lord’s prayer Jesus gave to us to pray but this prayer is for him as well. Jesus prays for us in this prayer- like adopted children, God has put us in Jesus’ care and protection. He is to teach us and love us and care for us. Jesus sees us as his own as God sees us as his own. Jesus is using this as sending prayer- he is about to be arrested. He is about to die and have to leave these- his children behind. He prays this prayer for God to continue to look out for them now that he will be leaving them. It’s a prayer of love and of concern.

Not so unsimilar to the prayer parents all around our country pray for their children as they head off to school. Knowing they can’t go with them and fearing for their safety. Jesus left the people he loved in a cruel world as parents have to learn how to live in this cruel world with their children.

19 students and 2 adults died this past week in an elementary school shooting. It’s hard to fully process this information. To fully comprehend the grief, it encompasses. It’s a cycle of fear. The one who is doing the evil in these situations, killing people with guns is doing so out of fear- fear that they are not loved, not good enough, fear that they don’t know how to do this life- an overwhelming fear that somehow gets them to do the unthinkable. There is fear in the victims, in the victim’s families, in everyone that realizes that could have been then and might be them in the future. It is fear that creates this violence. The bible makes a big claim about fear- it says perfect Love casts out all fear. We will come back to this but first I want to look at today’s scripture more in-depth.

As I read the scripture for today- I kept thinking about what this has to do with this tragedy- if scripture can’t actively play a part in the real-life trauma and tragedies then what good is it? Scripture is only as useful to us as in how it can equip us to journey through this life. Prayer has been an excuse and placeholder for too long. Action and policy are what will end this madness- not prayer. Jesus even here does not pray that bad things will not happen- Jesus does not ask God to take away the bad things. No, Jesus asks God to help us become united- to help us know love. To pray for violence to stop happening is like assuming that if you think about turning the water off it turns off rather than actually getting up and physically turning the water off. You can’t just think about it- you have to do it. The verb for to pray here is one not commonly used- the way it is used is more about asking than having a sacred moment with God. It is more action oriented than other verbs used to describe praying in the Bible.

If you want to pray about this situation- lets, follow Jesus’ example and start with praying that we will do the work of learning what it means to love others and feel love ourselves. The person who killed all those people would not have done this had they truly felt loved by their family, community, etc. Maybe it was that they didn’t receive love or maybe it was that they didn’t know how to receive the love being given to them. But Senseless violence would not exist in a place where love was truly felt- there would be no need. You would feel whole- the love would heal whatever was causing you anguish.

Jesus also prayed for us to be united as one- He says as him and God are one. That is a tall order. Jesus and God are in a sense the same being but in different forms. To be united like them would be of the same mind and the same spirit. Something that seems incomprehensible today. Why does Jesus so badly want us to be united? Earlier in the prayer he says its through being united that we can see the truth- to be united is how we eliminate evil like these shootings from the world.

Last week, I talked about how if we want to see change in anything- we have to be the ones to make it happen. We are the “miracles”. We are the only way to change things. We have to vote and advocate for policy change. We have to have hard conversations with those who don’t agree or who need education on the matter. All of these things are true. What is also true is that we need to do a better job at learning how to love and showing others love. If what the Bible says is true- that perfect love casts out fear then to me that says this is a good starting point.

Learning how to be loved is not easy. Learning how to love is not easy. We aren’t talking about romantic love or love that comes easy like loving a child but we are talking about the action of love. What does it mean to love someone well? Especially someone who may be hurt or is difficult to love? It looks like discerning someone’s needs and meeting them. For many who decide that killing people is the only solution left to them- mental health issues play a big role. What it looks like to love these people is to meet their needs and first know their needs. It requires patience, listening, time, professionals, sacrifice, lots and lots of sacrifice. Are we really willing to love those who need it most? Our systems clearly say no- the professionals in these fields are some of the lowest paid with the least resources. We do not value mental health in the states- to love these that need it most isn’t cost efficient. It’s emotionally efficient. It’s soul efficient but it does not put money into anyone’s pockets and as long as that’s true,  this country will not adequately meet these needs. It’s truly sickening that our country would rather be wealthy than have people wandering around with broken hearts and broken spirits.

We are not unified. We are not of one mind and spirit. What would it look like if our systems treated our souls- no matter if you believe in God it is essential to believe that you matter, that you are worthy, that you are cherished and adored. We are not universally taught this, we don’t have classes on this or give priority to these conversations. This is where spirituality comes in- this is that work. And spirituality in our world is such a small aspect of many peoples lives. It is not valued. But this is where we need unity. No matter the religion or if there is one at all- until we all believe at our core that we are loved and worthy and that the person next to us is just as loved and worthy and these become the values that everything else is based off of, then fear and anger and self-hatred and shame will have the final say in our world. Hurting each other will continue to happen.

This will take a long time. But Jesus has prayed for us that it should happen and we should continue in this prayer with action. And while we work on being unified- in feeling and showing love- we have other work to do. In the meantime, we have to vote and talk to our politicians about the best way to keep people safe both physically and mentally. We have to advocate for change, recognizing that we are a broken people who need help keeping each other safe because we are too broken to do it on our own. And as you work toward action and policy change. You are also called to this spiritual work- have you done the spiritual work of knowing and believing that you are loved? Do you know how to accept love from others? Do you know how to give it? Are you willing to sacrifice a lot to give it? Once you have done this work- this work that is ongoing, invite someone else in to do this work. This is what it takes to become unified. In Jesus’s day word of mouth was the only way someone learned of something. As Christians, I don’t think our job is to go around ensuring everyone believes in Jesus and telling them about him. I think our work is to go around ensuring everyone feels love and understands how to love.

Innumerable times a whole Christian community has broken down because it had sprung from a wish dream. The serious Christian, set down for the first time in a Christian community, is likely to bring with him a very definite idea of what Christian life together should be and try to realize it. But God’s grace speedily shatters such dreams. Just as surely as God desires to lead us to a knowledge of genuine Christian fellowship, so surely must we be overwhelmed by a great disillusionment with others, with Christians in general, and if we are fortunate, with ourselves. (pp. 26-27)

Imagine my surprise.  I have spent my entire ministry working to resolve church conflict and Bonhoeffer appears to be saying it is not only to be expected, but it is also something we are called to be grateful for. And it is so, of course.  It is in our differences, in our struggles, in our hurts that we encounter and receive God’s grace and gift most completely.   It is then that I am able to see Christ in my neighbor.  It is then that I am able to be loved in spite of myself. It is then I know most deeply my own need for God.

What it means to become unified and learn to love and be loved is not that we agree on everything or understand everything but that through our indifference and faults and sufferings, we find grace and forgiveness- the things that prove to us our worth- that we are loved. We learn to love and be loved not by being perfect by precisely by being imperfect. This prayer to become unified is not for us to become exactly the same but for us to realize that in our humanity- in our being we are the same- we are equal, we are all the same amount as important as anyone else. The goal is not this wish dream Bonhoeffer describes which is unachievable anyway but the goal is manifest grace and empathy and forgiveness so that we know we are loved. We are loved despite all the bad stuff that we love others despite the bad stuff. We become unified in our brokenness. And we are so so aware of our brokenness. Lord we pray, let us be broken safely together.

The Voice of Promise

John 10:22-30

The disciples are getting impatient here. Jesus is going around healing people and prophesying and depending upon who hears and sees these things, people believe he is either a demon or the messiah. The disciples finally ask him, “How long will you keep us in suspense? Translated this means something like- When will you take away our lives? Jesus has been saying that judgment will come to those who do not follow Jesus so here they kind of confront Jesus and say okay if you are the messiah then when is this judgment going to happen? He says he has already tried to explain this to them and they still don’t understand.

This analogy of the good shepherd seems to be a partial explanation for what’s going on- My sheep hear my voice- they know me, they understand. It doesn’t tell us what makes them Jesus’ sheep. Why them? It also seems to be more complicated- the disciples time and time again don’t understand Jesus- to hear his voice- does this make them not his sheep? If the disciples aren’t Jesus’ sheep, who is? And then in true John fashion- there is a confusing explanation about sheep. It says, “Jesus answered, “I did tell you, but you do not believe. The works I do in my Father’s name testify about me, ²⁶ but you do not believe because you are not my sheep. ²⁷ My sheep listen to my voice; I know them, and they follow me. ²⁸ I give them eternal life, and they shall never perish; no one will snatch them out of my hand. ²⁹ My Father, who has given them to me, is greater than all^[c]; no one can snatch them out of my Father’s hand. ³⁰ I and the Father are one”.

The disciples are missing the point- much like we do. I don’t think this is a “who is in and who is out” question like we tend to make it. Jesus isn’t saying that you will be cast out because you cant listen but rather showing frustration that unlike sheep we are not following his voice- frustration that we can’t seem to hear his voice.-  The father has you all in his hands. This isn’t about eternal life in the way you imagine- this is about those who can hear my voice like sheep to their shepherd and about what life can look like for them. This eternal life Jesus speaks of is not a life to come- but a life possible now. A life full of promise now.

Let’s take a step back and look at what it means to be a shepherd- maybe we can gain some insight from this role. A shepherd is known as the keeper of sheep- One account says the duties of a shepherd in an unenclosed country like Palestine go like this: “In the early morning he led forth the flock from the fold, marching at its head to the spot where they were to be pastured. Here he watched them all day, taking care that none of the sheep strayed and if any for a time eluded his watch and wandered away from the rest, seeking diligently till he found and brought it back. In those lands, sheep require to be supplied regularly with water, and the shepherd for this purpose has to guide them either to some running stream or to wells dug in the wilderness and furnished with troughs. At night he brought the flock home to the fold, counting them as they passed under the rod at the door to assure himself that none were missing. Nor did his labors always end with sunset. Often he had to guard the fold through the dark hours from the attack of wild beasts, or the wily attempts of the prowling thief.

Another account says, “The modern shepherd . . . has a wonderful memory, which retains the name of every sheep. The flocks sometimes contain several hundred, and yet each one has a name and the shepherd knows it, and calls every sheep by its proper name. . . . [One observer] tells of watching shepherds with flocks upon the slopes of Mount Hermon: ‘Each shepherd . . . trains his sheep to come at his call, to go in order, in twos or fours, in squares and circles; one from the outer circle in a flock of a thousand will come when its name is called.’ It is the voice of the shepherd that the sheep recognizes.

“A stranger once declared to a Syrian shepherd that the sheep knew the dress and not the voice of their master. The shepherd said it was the voice they knew. To prove this, he exchanged dresses with the stranger, who went among the sheep in the shepherd’s dress, calling the sheep in imitation of the shepherd’s voice, and tried to lead them. They knew not his voice, but when the shepherd called them, though he was disguised, the sheep ran at once at his call.”​—Orientalisms in Bible Lands, by E. W. Rice, pp. 159-161.

When we look at the shepherd it says a lot more about the relationship the shepherd has with his sheep than it does about the relationship the sheep have with their shepherd. These accounts say a lot more about how these sheep are claimed by the shepherd whether they listen to the shepherd or not. This is the analogy- we are not sheep but we should be like sheep- it would be easier- we would be closer to encountering God’s promises if we were.

What does the shepherd’s voice sound like to you? How do you recognize it? What promises does it speak to you? There are a lot of voices in our lives- demanding voices, persuasive voices, harsh voices, all wanting us to follow their voice.  This voice, the one of the good shepherd, this is a voice of promise

People hear this same voice and have 2 different reactions- 1 he is a demon- 2- he is the messiah. Same voice- how are there 2 entirely different understandings? How do you know it is a voice of promise rather than a voice of demise?

How do we discern the voice of the shepherd- the voice of promise?

Maybe we are reading this the wrong way- it’s not some of us are sheep and some of us aren’t- it’s that there is “sheep” in all of us.

The part of John which contains our text revolves around the multifaceted image and symbol of the sheep. It’s political, and it’s psychological and spiritual. John Petty says,

Psychologically, “sheep” refers to that aspect of a person that instinctively is able to hear the shepherd’s voice, and separate the truth from falsehood.  The early church father, Origen, said that sheep represent our irrational and instinctual nature.  This aspect of our psyche needs guidance but also has the ability to separate the “true shepherd” from the false one.

The “sheep” is the part of us that can tell the difference. The deception is deep nowadays. True claims and false claims that sometimes feel indistinguishable. People learn to become professional deceptors- trained at being able to lie and trick someone into believing something false. Have you ever explored the “sheep” part of you? That part of you that instinctively knows the difference between right and wrong, when you are being deceived?

Are you in touch with your sheep side? Do you trust yourself to know the difference between truth and falsehood? Whose voice we choose to follow will direct our whole lives. This is no small matter for us. From a young age- many voices vie for our attention and commitment to follow.

If this is a voice of promise- what is the promise? That might help us to know how to distinguish the voice of promise from that of falsehood.  We see that the promise is eternal life but like I touched on earlier maybe this doesn’t mean what we think it does. N.T Write says, “ In other words, Jesus has inaugurated, ushered in, the “age to come.” But there is no sense that this “age to come” is “eternal” in the sense of being outside space, time, and matter. Far from it. The ancient Jews were creational monotheists. For them, God’s great future purpose was not to rescue people out of the world but to rescue the world itself, people included, from its present state of corruption and decay. “ The promise is to rescue the whole world- not to take us from it and live forever in some other place but to have this place be the place where all the gifts of God are to be realized.

The two main takeaways here is that the voice of the shepherd is one of promise- promise of eternal life but that is not something to come- it is something that has already been ushered in and here for the taking- if you have the eyes to see and the ears to hear. The second takeaway is that we are all sheep- we are all claimed by God and this eternal life is offered to all of us- the question becomes- will you be able to hear the shepherd’s voice? Will you be able to distinguish it from all the other voices? When someone tries to “dress up” like the shepherd- will you be able to tell by the words what it is- a falsehood?

Today is Mother’s Day- a day that is to honor of all the mothers. It attempts to elevate 1 voice but instead diminishes so many- the thousands of women who feel pain and loss from not being able to have children or from losing them. The thousands of women who are made to feel like their decision to not have children is less than. It takes one day to acknowledge mothers and then spend the next 364 blaming them for how their kids turn out and putting unnecessary burdens and guilt on moms and all that they do. I’m sure the holiday means well and for some maybe it does- but for so many, it misses the mark- or doesn’t accomplish its intended goal- to show appreciation. In many ways, the celebration of Mother’s Day is society’s voice not because God doesn’t want to honor mothers but because this way is too exclusive, too small, and inconsiderate to do it justice. We also have heard in the news this past week the leaked court decision on row vs. wade and wherever you stand on that issue it is clear that only some voices are being heard, that some are louder and become the ones to follow. What I see in scripture is that the shepherd’s voice is one of fierce compassion and empathy. Today as we wrestle with the complexity of what the holiday of mothers day may mean for some and the complexity around the issue of what it means for women to have rights to their own bodies, I pray we can discern where the voice of the shepherd is and that as the sheep we will be led toward it. Can you find the voice of promise in these things?

“Let’s try this again”

Sermon John 21: 1-19

You know the phrase, “If at first, you don’t succeed, try try again?”. Well, when we told our family that I was pregnant my sister-in-law got us each a mom/dad coffee mug, and the one for dad says “if at first, you don’t succeed, call dad”. Hey, at least it doesn’t say call Jesus.  This has been my motto- if something goes wrong with my taxes or my insurance or my car. Etc. I don’t normally try again- I call my dad. The thing is sometimes he knows the answers but a lot of times, he just gives me the encouragement to take the steps to try again. I guess at the age where he also doesn’t have to pretend to have all the answers anymore. I wonder if trying again and calling dad aren’t so different.  Many times we try again not from our own will or motivation but from that of a loved one. There are many times we probably would have given up if someone else wasn’t counting on us or hoping for us. When I was in high school and I would leave my headlights on and my car battery would die- frequently. I would call my dad and ask what to do although after a few times I already knew what to do or how to troubleshoot if at first it wasn’t working but there was something about calling my dad that I needed. There is something about someone directing you, leading you that helps motivate you. Like when you find someone to go running with you because you know if someone isn’t expecting you to show up, you’d never get off the couch although you could.

In our text today, Jesus again reveals himself- and again not by sight but through action. The disciples know it is Jesus by what he does. They were out fishing all night because that is how they make a living- the disciples are back to their daily lives and routines because life must go on. They fish all night and it says they caught nothing- just as the dawn is breaking through a man on the beach says “cast your net again” and they do and lo and behold their net becomes filled with more fish than they know what to do with. Then they realize this man on the beach is Jesus.

 “Let’s try this again” Jesus suggests to them “let’s try this again”

When I think about the idea of trying again, I think about physical feats- a person learning to walk again after a leg amputation- an athlete yearning to get back to their pre-injured abilities. Success when it comes to physical situations like this comes after thousands and thousands of “trying agains”. You have to do it over and over and over and fail over and over and over- that is the only way for the possibility of progress. And then one time as you try again- you get the intended result. But only after countless times of not getting that result. This is the process of rehabilitation. Rehabilitation is the act of restoring something to its former self or ability. Trying again is the action of rehabilitation.

We seem to accept this concept of trying again or rehabilitation with examples like the ones I just mentioned but not so much when it comes to things that have to do with our minds, our emotions. I’m not sure if we have too high expectations for ourselves or we have some arrogance but we have way less patience when it comes to trying again in other areas of our lives. Trying again at a new business venture, trying again to get a job you like, trying again in your marriage, trying again to reach that goal. We seem to accept rehabilitation when something physical happens when something is physically broken but not so much when something is mentally or emotionally broken. When something is physically broken we have learned to accept it because it’s fact- it’s science. But what about when we are mentally/emotionally broken? Even to say that seems intense, dramatic- unnecessary. But why? When we get rejected from a job we spent hours and hours mentally preparing for and getting our hopes up about and hoping that all our hard work has finally paid off and after 3 long interviews you don’t get the job-not that I have had any experience in this particular scenario- it would seem, one would feel broken. That you would need some restoration, some rehabilitation before you do it all over again. You would need to get back to the self you were before that process well, broke you. We wouldn’t tell someone who just ran a marathon to run another one the next weekend- they need some time to get back to where they were.

I wonder if this is still part of our stigmatization of mental health. It’s still hard for us to equate going to a doctor when you are experiencing physical sickness to going to a therapist when you are experiencing mental health problems. We can’t seem to fully break free of this dichotomy that is inaccurate. Maybe if they honestly felt more the same than when we hear the voice in our ear, saying, “Let’s try this again” we would be much more likely to do so.

The first story in our scripture is Jesus encouraging the disciples to try again with something physical- fishing. In the second story in our scripture Jesus asks Peter to try again but this time it is not something physical- but something that requires much mental and emotional work- a relationship.

We might ask what does the second half of this scripture today have to do with the first? Well, the second half of this dialogue Jesus has with Peter is Jesus acting out this idea of trying again. One of the most respectable things to me about Jesus is he isn’t just talk. He backs up his beliefs, teachings and words by acting on them. In the first story, it feels like a teaching- Jesus is imparting some wisdom on us. Keep trying. It’s possible for a different outcome. But now in this second story- Jesus is a main character- not a narrator or a supporting role- Jesus shows us how to try again, how to rehabilitate.

 Earlier before Jesus’ death, Jesus said he would pray for Peter and his faith but Peter insisted he was ready to follow Jesus to the cross but Jesus said to Peter, I tell you before the rooster crows 3 times you will betray me and he did. Peter tried to follow Jesus and he couldn’t – he wasn’t ready. Jesus knew this. But here we see that Jesus is asking Peter to try again because this time he knows he can. The symbolism here is really cool. Jesus asks Peter 3 times if he loves him- so many times that Peter is hurt that Jesus won’t take him at his word but Jesus does this 3 times because that is the amount of times Peter betrayed Jesus. In this exchange, Jesus is rehabilitating Peter. Peter needs to be convinced that he loves Jesus and he won’t betray him again not Jesus. This exchange is not for Jesus it is for peter.

“Let’s try this again”

This story shows us that Jesus believes even the worst-case scenarios are worthy of being rehabilitated. I mean not long ago, Peter literally denounced Jesus, not once, not twice but three times. How can you come back from that? He didn’t mess up a little- he messed up a lot. How is Peter supposed to trust himself again? How is Jesus supposed to trust Peter? How can they have a fruitful relationship again? But Jesus thinks they can and that it’s worth the work to make it happen. So let’s look at what Jesus does. He asks Peter 3 times if he loves him but after each time Jesus also gives a command- if you love me, feed my sheep. If you love me, tend my sheep and then again, if you love me, feed my sheep. Jesus does something interesting here though. The first two times he asks Peter if he loves them he uses the word agape- which means unconditional love and the third time he asks Peter when peter really understands what Jesus is doing and it sets in how painful it was for Jesus when Peter denied him, he uses the word Philio which means a brotherly love. The first two words for love- agape I think refer to Jesus restoring Peters’s role in the ministry- if you love God unconditionally you will serve God. But this third word for love- Philio which was very purposeful is personal- this is Jesus saying I want to restore our relationships as friends- as people who love each other.

Jesus restores the friendship that was broken. Jesus restores Peter’s role in the ministry. He is elevating Peter’s role and relationship to him- it didn’t just go back to the way it was. It became even greater than it was before. By telling Peter to feed and tend his sheep, he is giving Peter new responsibilities, greater responsibility, showing that he trusts him.

It seems that Jesus just decides to give peter another go- he didn’t do anything to deserve it, we don’t even really see Peter do anything to show that he’s changed or a reason to believe it won’t happen again. But Jesus just decides to give him another chance and so he essentially says to Peter, “let’s try this again”.

This time it will work and not only will it work, but it will be greater than you realize it could be. Peter ended up being one of the great leaders of the church. The one who only days before, denounced Jesus out of fear. With God, how bad you messed up doesn’t matter. How bad the timing was or how recent it was., doesn’t matter. How underserving you feel to try again or even if you don’t have any hope left to try again doesn’t matter. Jesus is actively saying to you, “let’s try this again”

What might Jesus be referring to in your life? What in your life needs to be rehabilitated?

This is the resurrected life- life filled with restoration and rehabilitation. Life that is full of second chances and hope that it’s always worth trying again. What do you need to be ready to try again? Is it someone believing in you? Do you need rest? Do you need a doctor? Do you need time?

Jesus is inviting all of us, “Let’s try this again.” May we be courageous enough to do so. Amen.

Are you courageous enough to doubt?

Sermon John 20:19-31

Our text today comes right after a couple disciples learn that Jesus has been resurrected. Jesus was killed and now Jesus is alive and walking around. Today we learn how the rest of the disciples including Thomas come to hear that Jesus is in fact not dead but living. Let’s remember the last time the disciples were with Jesus- in the upper room sharing a meal as friends- only days ago when all seemed calm and normal as far as they were concerned because they didn’t understand what Jesus was trying to communicate to them. Judas had already made a deal to betray Jesus. At that meal, Jesus tells them that he will be betrayed by someone else aka Peter and now here we see that Thomas still doesn’t believe what Jesus has prophesied. It’s only been a few days and things are a hot mess. A lot has happened. Some are stunned, some are amazed, some are feeling immense guilt and shame, and some are still in disbelief. This story is famously known as the doubting Thomas- he wasn’t with the group that physically saw Jesus so when they come and tell him what they have seen he is skeptical. It’s not until he actually touches the parts of Jesus body that we’re speared that he believes. This part is interesting that it’s even in here- it seems like maybe having a way to physically prove He was Jesus was essential. There’s technically no reason why at the crucifixion Jesus was pierced in the sides. It seems to me the for the sake of the narrative that the fact that Jesus pierced sides show up again is to teach us something or why have it be part of the story? Maybe God knows we need proof. I know Thomas gets the raw end of the deal for not being able to believe without sight- to have a blind faith but at the same time Jesus openly gives Thomas proof- he doesn’t try and deny Thomas the joy of knowing that He is alive just because Thomas needed a little bit more and it seems like Jesus created a way for Thomas to believe. Judas wasn’t ashamed to demand more information, he didn’t apologize. He didn’t have to ask and could have just not cared enough to really want to believe, or he could have just said he believed. He was courageous in asking Jesus to show him the truth and he was courageous in pronouncing Jesus as his lord and his God. I don’t think Thomas is in this narrative to shame him and try to get us to not be like him. I think Thomas is in here because we are like him. One theologian pointed out that Thomas means “the twin” and we actually never hear of his twin- maybe the twin is us. More than ever as a human race we want proof. We live in a culture where people are constantly trying to scam us by phone or e-mail and through hacking. We’d be naïve not to want proof.

God knows this and seems to say okay I can help those of you who have trouble believing- we will find a way for you to believe. And I think for all of us that is in a unique way. Jesus relates to us uniquely so how I come to believe in God will be different than how each one of you do.

At the risk of sounding like a hippie or overly politically correct, I’m going to refer to God as goodness for the rest of the sermon. When we talk about believing in God we can’t help ourselves but get lost in what that means because it’s impossible for us to know what that means in its entirety. But we are told in scripture that God is good and God represents goodness so for today and for the sake of helping us understand God in a way that is plausible let us think of God as goodness. Do you believe in goodness? What keeps you from believing in goodness? Are you willing to fight to believe in goodness?

I don’t consider myself foolish although a lot of people would say being a pastor is foolish work to spend your life doing. I don’t adhere to blind faith or some abstract being that does miraculous things. Can I answer all questions- no, do I doubt yes. But what I know is that I do encounter beauty As many people do but where faith is involved is that I choose to believe that that beauty is a gift for humans. I have felt love and I choose to believe it’s a gift for humans. I have felt grace and I choose to believe it is a gift for humans. Same goes with all the other things I encounter- all things I’m going to call goodness. How they came about, I’m not sure- I don’t know that it matters but I have faith that it’s not an accident and that we are worthy of all these things. Maybe it’s foolish to think so highly of us to believe that love and grace and restoration are here as a gift to us- but the alternative makes no sense to me. For such purpose driven beings for there to be no purpose to any of it just doesn’t fit. So because I believe in goodness, I fight to continue to believe in it when the doubt creeps in. I’ve heard people say “I’ve seen too much bad stuff to believe in a purpose or reason for us being here”. I say that I’ve seen too much good stuff not to believe that there is a reason or purpose for us being here. I see the bad stuff too, but it doesn’t discount the good stuff I see.

I just finished reading a book called all the ugly and wonderful things. I’m not going to recommend it unless you want to read a really complicated book about love and family and like scripture end up with more questions than answers. It makes you think and question and is uncomfortable for much of the book. The hard part of this book is this young girl, wavy finds love and hope in a very unexpected place. In an unexpected person. In a way society would not approve of. The whole book the author causes you to go back and forth between whether this love is right or wrong or more than that asks the question, what is love? Can it be wrong if it’s love? What makes love love? If this thing makes you feel whole- helps you heal, isn’t it good? Can one type of love turn into another type of love. In the book the young girl who becomes a young woman finds healing and wholeness in a way that is frankly uncomfortable. But despite all the really horrible trauma she faced in her first 12 years of life, she finds a lot of beauty. The bad doesn’t keep her from seeing the good and she fights over and over to keep the good. She saw a glimpse of good in something and she will bet everything she has on it.

Thomas wants to believe in goodness, I want to believe in goodness, wavy wants to believe in goodness. But you have to fight for it. You have to ask hard questions, work out all of your doubt, choose to put stock in the slivers of beauty you encounter, you have to fight for the good things to be present in your life. Goodness shows up differently for everyone- what does goodness look like in your life?

I don’t think there’s anything wrong with us that we need to fight to believe in it- we’ve all been through a lot and have many reasons to doubt. There’s nothing wrong with being Thomas

I know Jesus says blessed are those who didn’t need to see, didn’t need the proof. But what about those of us that have had our trust broken or been deceived or hurt- why is it so crazy that we would need proof.  For many of us, It’s a form of self-protection. I think everyone wished we lived in a world where we didn’t need to protect ourselves, but we don’t live in that world. I get it Jesus is saying he is different- maybe you cant trust them but you can trust me but we need help doing this.

Thomas displays courage here- courage to ask the hard questions, to voice his doubt- he’s not ashamed. And then he has the courage to pronounce that Jesus is his lord and his God.

What kept Thomas from believing was not knowing if Jesus actually resurrected. Maybe this isn’t your question- maybe you are not concerned as much with this answer. So I would ask you what keeps you from believing in Goodness? Is it having been taught a narrow definition of what goodness Is? it how unrealistic the stories in the Bible are? Is it all the violence and pain you see in the world?

I know many if not all of you have asked yourselves these questions before and have come up empty. I wonder though if we are asking them the wrong way. When we ask these big doubting questions, we ask them abstractly. We ask them in a hypothetical way- not a way like Thomas where its personal and circumstantial. I wonder if we were to ask these big doubt questions about the things concerning our personal lives what kind of answers would we get?. I don’t believe the question of why does God let bad things happen to good people is any different than why is my child in pain, my spouse, my dog, myself? If we want to know who God is then we have to start with what’s happening to us personally. We have to voice our own doubts- am I loveable? Am I likeable? Am I smart enough? Am I beautiful? Am I trustworthy? Am I worthy? Am I a good… fill in the blank- daughter, mother, sister, friend, husband, pet owner. We will not find God in the abstract. We will find God in these questions- and we will not find God in the answers but it is in the asking that we find God. You find your faith when you realized you believed enough to ask the question.

I was once asked a question in an interview of what did I believe had to be true about the gospel story in order for God to be real… I knew this person and they were trying to trick me not in a there’s a right answer way but in a there isn’t a right answer way- to me personally, I’m not concerned with what did or didn’t happen- I’m concerned with do I believe in love, justice, goodness, mercy, the power of forgiveness, grace. Do I believe in these things and if I do what in my life has me doubting them at times? 

What questions can I be courageous enough to ask to restore my faith time and time again? See with Thomas- he wanted to believe, he was just having trouble- he wanted the glimpses of faith to become stronger and stronger but he needed reassurance. He wouldn’t have asked these hard questions if he didn’t want these things to be true. Do you believe in goodness enough to fight to keep believing in when you see things that cause you to doubt? If not, what keeps you from believing in it? Is it enough to discount all the goodness you do see? How much goodness is enough to believe in? Earlier I said we would find faith not in the answers but in the questions- the point is not getting an answer- the point is that you care enough to ask the question. That tells you where your belief lies right there.  Amen.

Making Space for Hope

John 20:1-18

Today we read the story of the empty tomb. Friday we read the story of Jesus’s journey to the cross that resulted in his death. On Friday in symbolism with the scripture, we brought flowers to the cross and wrapped the cross in cloth, and took it from the congregation as we left in silence. We left in silence because for 3 days as Jesus lay in that tomb- the world was still. When you each walked in this morning you may have noticed the cross is gone- Jesus is no longer on it and instead, his clothes and flowers are left here, where he was. He is risen. Today we are reminded that Jesus flips the world’s understanding of power and authority upside down. As a savior of people, Jesus took a humble entry into a city he knew would humiliate him, stood true to his beliefs no matter how unpopular, and chose to suffer with his people rather than liberate himself. He showed strength through vulnerability and love through selflessness and peace through non-violence. We are reminded that God didn’t have to kill jesus in order to forgive us from our sins because we are so bad- we are reminded that an empire killed Jesus out of fear of his radical inclusiveness. We are reminded that the cross shows not that God is one of retributive justice where we are punished based on our crimes but that God is one of restorative and rehabilitative justice. The cross reminds us of Jesus’ desire to be in relationship with his people no matter what because that is his greatest joy and peace. What else does the cross have to remind us of this morning?

Each time I read this Easter story, I read it a few times over and see what jumps out at me. I mean I have heard the story so many times nothing is surprising or new anymore. But each year, I am new and so while the information is not new- I hear it in a new way based on my new understanding of the world. This time as I pondered the text- it was actually while reading the scripture to Joyce Haney that I picked up on something that I hadn’t before. It comes in the beginning-  First it says when Mary saw the empty tomb she ran to tell Peter and the disciple Jesus loved and then it says, ³Then Peter and the other disciple set out and went toward the tomb. ⁴The two were running together, but the other disciple outran Peter and reached the tomb first. It’s small but I was struck by how excited or in disbelief or just how much energy they had around this news- they are running- sounds like sprinting because one ran ahead of the other. There is anticipation and hope and energy.

When is the last time you were so excited by something that you just literally ran to it? I think of the energy kids have and I wonder why we have to grow out of that- where does it go? I’m not sure if it’s the pandemic or just settling into the routine of adulthood with all the responsibilities but that energy isn’t where it used to be. I think the last time I was excited like that- with that much physical, unabated energy was in college. It’s funny I say that because I always find it odd that we hear college freshman sprinting down the halls at night- while I am annoyed at this, it makes me wonder, what are they so energized by? So excited by? Maybe for them, it has to do with a high intake of alcohol but for Peter and the unnamed disciple- I don’t think that was the case.

They are excited but they are astonished- I’m wondering if we are astonished by anything as much as when something happens that we believe is unbelievable- as when something happens we are convinced could not happen. I think that’s the only thing that could provoke this response in me. I am excited about a lot of things- moving, having a baby- but I’m not astonished because I expected those things. The astonishment is contingent on this hope factor- this leaving space for the unbelievable while at the same time understanding it is not likely. Real hope, biblical hope is not believing in something that is likely to happen, is not trusting in something that doesn’t require trust. Biblical hope is believing against all odds. That doesn’t mean a denial of reality- or ignorantly insisting God will step in. Hope involves doubt- big doubt- it just leaves a tiny bit of room for a different outcome than the likely one. And here we get to see how hearing the news that this hope they had was not foolish but essential- this is the moment their doubt is turning to belief, their hope is being fulfilled. Their brain is processing the greatest thing to ever happen to them-  because they are learning of a miracle.

Easter is about new life and the way the scripture talks about these men running-not from something but towards something is so intriguing to me. What are we running towards? Why can’t we be excited like that- filled with energy and discovery. What gives you life? For them, it was the hope that Jesus was alive. That’s why we celebrate this day- we are grateful, maybe even moved but we are so far removed from these actual events its hard to feel the impact of Jesus’ resurrection in the same way as these disciples. Is the news of Jesus’ resurrection as life-altering for us as it was for them? How was it life-altering for them? Nothing probably changed much- they had their friend, their loved one back for a while- got a chance to grieve properly before the real departure. That’s certainly something to celebrate but in terms of how Jesus’ ministry affected them- they have the excitement that maybe what Jesus said is actually true but same as us they still experienced suffering, power dynamics, oppression, and violence. Their excitement seems to be in the hope of what this could mean. It’s like hope produces more hope.

This Easter message is so powerful for us because it gives us the permission to hope, to learn to hope. It’s a personal message to each of us to not give up on the things in our life that we believe are too far gone or we believe will never happen.

When have you experienced something astonishing? Did you respond with doubt or with faith? If you are like me, you need proof before you can believe it. This might sound lame but the memory that comes to mind the most when thinking of something I witnessed as astonishing is…when the Eagles beat the Patriots in the super bowl. I did think about how it would sound to talk about the Eagles in an Easter sermon and I’m sticking with it. Before you scoff at this poor example you have to understand a few things first-one- the rivalry between the patriots and well every other team and Tom Brady and every other football fan that wasn’t a Patriots fan. There is intense emotion in this rivalry. You also have to understand how crazy it was that the Eagles were in the Superbowl that year. Our star Quarterback- a rookie mind you- our only hope you could say- got hurt at the end of the regular season leaving us with a backup quarterback that no one had any faith in. He helped us win the rest of the game that Carson Wentz was injured in but then he lost us the next game. Every Philly fan saw what could have been and began to grieve it- there was no way we could make our way through the playoffs now. This thinking is so very typical of a Philly sports fan- we most definitely respond as least outwardly with doubt- So when we get to the super bowl and find out we are playing the patriots- the near-impossible team to beat- a master 2nd half have team who is well versed and has so much experience playing super bowls- we have a little strand of hope because we made it so far on what we had and yet there is so much doubt brewing knowing the challenge we are facing. So the night of the Super Bowl comes and I am watching the game in Pittsburgh with some friends at a bar and only one other person is a true Philly fan- by this I mean they are much more doubtful than optimistic. So this game starts and the whole time, even when we are winning or playing well, I know in the back of my head that our in-experience and the patriot’s relentless ability to make incredible comebacks in the second half, I can’t get excited. The whole game I could not let myself believe we could do this- it wasn’t until we actually won that I could feel the astonishment of what happened. I really did feel astonished- if someone had told me beforehand that the Eagles beat the patriots- I would have simultaneously felt disbelief and excitement.

 Now I know that can seem like a superficial thing to be astonished at, to put hope in, but it is really something that happened that I had a really hard time believing could happen. If I had this much excitement- I don’t know if I have been energized by something so much since- what would it look like to be astonished by something more than a sports game. I don’t want us to feel guilty for not being as awed this day as the disciples were. I want us to think about what we are awed by? What gives us hope in our daily lives. Hope is contagious and hope grows exponentially- the more you have the more you will feel. Let the cross teach us today that hope is not in vain- it is possible to be astonished- it is possible for new life to come to you at any point. Maybe nothing much actually changed for the disciples except that the hope they felt that day made way for more hope. This event changed the way they saw the world- not necessarily that their lives were changed but the way they saw the world was forever changed. They had now lived in a world of hope fulfilled. If this could happen, what did it mean- if this could happen, what else could happen. How were their lives changed just by this new perspective going forward? One of the many things Jesus came to bring was hope- are you taking full advantage of that gift? We underestimate the power of hope so today I ask you to take a minute and hope for something- something you long for. Just let yourself for a minute sit in that hopefulness- remember this isn’t a wish- this is something we know is far-fetched and yet we hang on to the beauty of what could be if the hope was realized. This type of biblical hope keeps us going, keeps us wondering- today let the cross be a sign for you that you deserve to hope. I think the news of Jesus’ resurrection while not new and not surprising anymore is still as life-altering because of the hope it has the power to instill. Amen.

There is no peace without division

Palm Sunday Sermon: Luke 19:28-40

Have you ever tried to make peace with someone on a really important issue? I’m sure it went super smooth and was resolved in a few minutes after quiet conversation, right? The interesting thing about peace is it always seems to involve things that don’t feel like peace. Normally there are a lot of strong emotions, maybe arguing, defensiveness, resistance. It seems to take a long time if it ever happens. One time, I tried to make peace was with 2 friends from seminary who had been friends. 1 identified as gay and one as straight and somewhere into their friendship they realized their theological differences on sexual orientation and it severed their friendship. I tried to help them revive their friendship but it didn’t work. I’m not really surprised- I still think it’s a bummer that they can’t work it out but peace in this situation is complicated. Kudos to all of you who have tried to keep peace in your friendships and families- it feels like voluntary stepping into an episode of Maury. The Author, Tom mullen says, “They work for peace — and if you really want to cause conflict, work for peace”

Throughout the Gospels, Jesus said, Blessed, are the peacemakers, for they shall be called the children of God.  Peace I leave with you; my peace I give to you.  Peace, be still.  Your faith has saved you; go in peace.  Peace be with you.  If you, even you, had recognized on this day the things that make for peace!  I have said this to you, so that in me, you may have peace.  In the world you face persecution.  But take courage; I have conquered the world.  In the Gospels, Jesus is called the Prince of Peace.  The Apostle Paul mentions “the gospel of peace” and peace as a fruit of the Spirit.  He begins every letter with, “Grace to you and peace from God our Father and the Lord Jesus Christ.”  In his letter to the Ephesians, Paul writes that Jesus “is our peace … So he came and proclaimed peace to you who were far off and peace to those who were near; for through him both of us have access in one Spirit to the Father.”

But Jesus is also known for his statement in Matthew that says, “ Do not suppose that I have come to bring peace to the earth. I did not come to bring peace, but a sword.”  Doesn’t fit so well with all his other sayings of peace.

Jesus is quoting, here, from the Prophet Micah.  The quote is not a prediction of a divisive Messiah.  Instead, Micah is lamenting Israel’s corrupt ways.  Listen to the larger quote from Micah.  The faithful have disappeared from the land, and there is no one left who is upright; they all lie in wait for blood, and they hunt each other with nets.  Their hands are skilled to do evil; the official and the judge ask for a bribe, and the powerful dictate what they desire; thus they pervert justice.  The best of them is like a brier, the most upright of them a thorn hedge.  The day of their sentinels, of their punishment, has come; now their confusion is at hand.  Put no trust in a friend, have no confidence in a loved one; guard the doors of your mouth from her who lies in your embrace; for the son treats the father with contempt, the daughter rises up against her mother, the daughter-in-law against her mother-in-law; your enemies are members of your own household.

In Matthew, Jesus is noting that what was true in Israel is still true in the gospels- the division already exists-  Jesus does not cause the division, the strife, the conflict; but his life and ministry is a mirror for us.  Jesus reveals the division within us and between us.

And that makes for peace?  In a round-about, paradoxical way – yes.  Parker Palmer writes “Violence of every shape and form has its roots in the divided life, in that fault line within us that cracks open and becomes a divide between us.”  We must recognize that the division between us – the violence, injustice, conflict – is rooted in the division within us.

But there is something else we must recognize within ourselves.  Thomas Merton said it well when he wrote, “there is in all things … a hidden wholeness” (p. 4).  In the Sermon on the Mount, Jesus says, You have heard that it was said, “You shall love your neighbor and hate your enemy.”  But I say to you, Love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you, so that you may be children of your Father in heaven …  For if you love those who love you, what reward do you have?  Do not even the tax collectors do the same?  And if you greet only your brothers and sisters, what more are you doing than others?  Do not even the Gentiles do the same?  Be perfect, therefore, as your heavenly Father is perfect.  Be perfect?  Impossible, right?  But a much better translation of the words is, “Be complete, be whole.”  Parker Palmer says this about wholeness:  “Wholeness does not mean perfection: it means embracing brokenness as an integral part of life.” (p. 5, A Hidden Wholeness).  Jesus doesn’t cause division, he illumines it within me.  But by “embracing” my brokenness I can uncover my hidden wholeness and that will help bring peace.

The verse after our scripture ends this morning says this, ⁴¹ As he approached Jerusalem and saw the city, he wept over it ⁴² and said, “If you, even you, had only known on this day what would bring you peace—but now it is hidden from your eyes.”

Peace causes division because it confronts what is within us.

Peace is radical and things that are radical cause division. Bringing peace means something must change- again another thing that causes division- some will want to change and some will not. Church division over the LGBTQ community- in the attempt to bring peace to those who were feeling hatred the church called for acceptance of the LGBTQ community and that caused some of the biggest divisions in church history. This happened with letting different races worship together, letting women preach… when there is a call to reduce hate, division happens. We see it when talking about anti-racism in our society. Why when given the chance for peace, do we instead choose division?

This is also true in interpersonal relationships- how often someone wants peace but their pride or trauma or insecurity causes them to distance themselves or cause division. There is this meme I saw the other day of the outline of 2 adults- they are sitting down and their backs are against one another with their heads rested on their knees in their arms. Since it is just the outline, inside of them you can see each of them as a tiny inner child- toddler age and they are standing up facing each other – with their hands outstretched touching each other through the adult’s backs. This image goes to show that adults for various reasons- choose division over the inner child in all of us who is yearning for peace and connection. It’s like Paul- I do the things I don’t want to do and don’t do the things I want to do.

If anyone can make peace happen you think it would be God and yet here again division is the way it goes. Where does that leave us? What can we learn from this to help us to continue on Jesus’ journey for peace? What do we know about humans that can help us?

We care more about being right than the common good but more so than being right I think it’s that we want to be validated- to be seen, to be set apart, and with peace we become much more part of the whole rather than a standout member. Maybe if we would learn to feel our validation from God- From within ourselves of who God says we are, then we will look for it less from others.

With all these church splits- what causes it is fear- fear of the unknown and fear that you won’t matter as much. I don’t think any of us want to say that but I know I enjoy the things about myself that society favors over others- things like extroversion, being young, being white, being educated, having blue eyes and blonde hair- if society all of a sudden said they valued the introverted, uneducated, older brown-haired male as much as me, that would change my life- it would change the way people see me, talk to me, respect me, the opportunities they give me- how easy it is to make friends. For those of us who feel like we are getting the good end of the deal- fear keeps us from wanting to level the playing field. Our insecurity keeps us from being secure enough to invite everyone into the good life. If everyone is just as special as us- we somehow think that makes us less special.

What does God have for us that can help us in this flawed understanding? What does the gospel offer us that might give us some answers?

In God’s eyes, we are already all the same- so the fear that we have that we will no longer be seen as “better” is unfounded because that’s an illusion. God does not view some of us as better than others- we are equally loved. The fear is rooted in a false dichotomy.

We don’t recognize peace out of our own selfish ambition and we create division but we do this on a premise that doesn’t exist in God’s eyes. In verse 42 Jesus says- if only you knew what peace would bring you but now it is hidden from your eyes. I think peace could happen if we could learn to let go of the division that only exists in our minds. God sees us all equally. God cannot love you more or less. Working for peace will have no effect on you if you understand and believe these things to be true. The division within you is possible to let go of, you start with a different premise- you have everything you need to be whole and no one or nothing else can take that away from you.

Being Present in the Moment

Sermon John 12: 1-8

In our scripture this morning we see a ritual of anointing- God had already anointed Jesus with the HS but this was mary anointing Jesus as sacred- set apart- and also in preparation for his burial. It was a ritual both to prepare him for what’s ahead and a mourning of that event at the same time. This ritual was for Mary but more than that it was for Jesus. Let’s look more closely at this passage. This passage is sometimes controversial because of the point that Judas makes but in the text we see that Judas was a thief and was out for his own gain not that of the poor- the author calls him out for his “feigned” concern- Judas would take a cut of whatever money they earned for the poor so he had a vested interest in this seemingly innocent question.  We also see that It looks like Jesus and Mary had even talked about this ritual beforehand and Jesus said it was intended for his burial which was coming soon unbeknownst to everyone else.

Rituals were much more popular in the culture in the days of the Bible and were an important part of people’s everyday lives. Culturally we have rituals- more for celebrations- birthdays, weddings, births. We do have funerals, but on the whole, we don’t do many rituals before someone dies- if we know they are going to. Before a wedding you have a bridal shower and bachelorette/bachelor parties, for a baby, you have a baby shower and nest in your home- normally we don’t consciously think of these as rituals but that is what they are- events that help us prepare and set apart the thing that is coming. We are not as comfortable with death- the Catholics do last rights in the hospitals but besides that, we don’t do much to prepare for death as we do for other events in our lives. I wonder how much more at peace we would be, how much less we would fear, how much better our grief would manifest if we partook in some rituals before our own deaths and the deaths of our loved ones. Today in our scripture we see the importance of a ritual as Jesus prepares for his death.

Jesus has shown so much grace and love and now here in this parable he is receiving that grace and love from someone else. An abundant amount of grace- as grace always is-undeserved- uncomfortable. This makes me think about our relationship with God is one of mutuality.  Our relationship with God not just being one way- but we show each other grace and love. This shows us that even Jesus needed to feel loved before he was crucified. I wonder if Jesus needed this grace and devotion to be able to carry out his mission. To know that he wasn’t alone- Mary was one of the only people that believed what Jesus was prophesying was actually going to happen- she took it seriously and this is one of the ways she supported Jesus.

Nard or perfume was used to refresh and exhilarate- mary wanted to give this to Jesus to strengthen him on his journey. Later in the Bible, we are called co-heirs with Christ and here I think is another example of how God asks us to join God in this mission, to achieve this goal. Mary was one of the only people to actually join Jesus in this journey. Not for her own gain like Judas but for the benefit of Jesus.

I personally really like the intimacy of this moment between Jesus and Mary. Such a special moment- involving her own tears, a precious even extravagant prop like perfume which will hold a memory in its Fragrance. Fragrance has been shown to help us be present in the moment. Can you recall those smells that somehow conjure up the memories of those no longer with you or of those experiences that were meaningful to you? Ceresa, you told me how you used to remember every day after school, you would come home to the smell of some delicious baked goods that your mom would make. I wonder if certain smells bring you back into your childhood. Or on the other hand- Cara last Sunday when Sam refreshened the church you told me that smell would have caused you to lets say empty your stomach while you were pregnant- conjuring up maybe not joyful memories but memories nonetheless of the days when you would ride the metro as first-time mom with a severe case of morning sickness. I can still remember my grandmother when I get a whiff of her perfume from someone walking by. I’m not even sure what perfume she wore but every once in a while I will get a whiff of it and will have a clear picture of her in my mind- more so than a story could bring about. It brings you right back into a moment in time- a fragrant moment. This ritual served many purposes- one of which was to be grounded in this moment- to create a moment to be recalled in the future. And of course, it is Mary- always so brave, she does what should be done despite what others think or the backlash she will receive. Jesus needed this- she needed this.

Part of the tension of this story is the underlying notion that the perfume should have been used in a more practical or better way. And there is also this sense that helping the poor is more important than Jesus and Mary having this moment. The tension that there is always something more important to do- why can’t being present- giving someone what they need be the most important thing? So frustrating- it’s a constant battle to never feel at ease that this is where you are supposed to be for however long and there is absolutely nothing more important than that. How can we feel confident like Mary in our decision to do something we know is needed when we know others won’t understand while people are dying and wars are happening and our children are hurting. And yet Jesus says- they- whoever is hurting will always be with you. Jesus whose sole being is for those who are hurting still says- this moment here is important- the hurting will be there when you are done- that is not a reason not to be in this moment.

For someone who likes to cross a lot of things off a list this does not sound productive and yet maybe it’s the most productive thing we can do. Even if we find ourselves in a moment where we are being present- are we not thinking about what else we have to do that day or feeling guilty we are “wasting” so much time. Even at the hospital as a chaplain, they didn’t want our visits to be more than 15 minutes each- they said they wanted quality spiritual and pastoral care but at the end of the day you had to log all your visits and the more you had the better- always. There was never any indication from your bosses that you making a connection with someone over the course of an hour was a better way to spend your time than seeing 4 patients in that hour- and this is the one profession where “success” should look like spending quality time- where numbers shouldn’t matter. It’s hard for me to think of a space in society where quality and presence is praised more than anything else.

This is very frustrating for me. This idea that guilt or pressure or negative thoughts follow you and heckles you every time you attempt to slow down and be present. It’s exhausting and just not good. I understand there is a lot to do. A lot a lot. But before his death, when there was so much to do, Jesus takes time to be with one of his closest friends and allows himself to be in that place, accepting that grace and receiving that love. He praises Mary for doing what she should in that moment- slowing down, performing a ritual, allowing for mutuality to take place, and being in the moment. I wholeheartedly believe in being in the moment and yet I can’t seem to do it peacefully.

Annie Dillard has this beautiful quote about the importance of how your order your days and what you fill your life with matters deeply. As structured beings, it’s important for us to make space to slow down- to be present. This is what she says, “How we spend our days is, of course, how we spend our lives. What we do with this hour, and that one, is what we are doing. A schedule defends from chaos and whim. It is a net for catching days. It is a scaffolding on which a worker can stand and labor with both hands at sections of time. A schedule is a mock-up of reason and order—willed, faked, and so brought into being; it is a peace and a haven set into the wreck of time; it is a lifeboat on which you find yourself, decades later, still living.”

My spiritual director would tell me to schedule in quiet time- or time to be creative or time to order my thoughts because if I didn’t schedule it, it wouldn’t happen. It’s taken a lot of work to see this 2-hour block on my schedule as an important part of my week- not as a waste of time or a free block. How do we learn to see value in something, society sees no value in?

At the end of the day, who are we looking at to tell us “well done, my good and faithful servant? If it is society then yes it makes sense not to slow down- we would not get a pat on the back for that- in fact, we would be reprimanded and many of you probably have been in one way or another. But if at the end of the day we want to know what God thinks then maybe our priorities should shift.  How much time that day did we spend meeting a need, forming a connection, and slowing down enough to be present in this space and time God has given us? If that was the checklist to be evaluated, how would you do? I know it’s difficult to decide to spend your time in a way that your values would approve of rather than the ones society has set for you, but maybe this is part of the burden Jesus warns us we would have to carry. This tension, this strength to go against the grain- to have the courage to act in a way that others will disagree with. Mary shows us an example of how to stay focused on what’s important and stay true to the goal. What are some tiny ways you feel like you can start living into your values that are in tension with those enforced on you by society or your career or your community? How can we lesson or learn to live with this tension of slowing down in a culture that is moving faster and faster by the day? One practical way I think we can do this is literally scheduling in quiet time, time for someone else, time to be present. Find out what is a reasonable amount of time and put it on your calendar each week and commit to saying no to anything that asks for that time. See what may come from doing this week after week.

How does suffering or lack of suffering affect us?

Luke 15:11b-34

Do you ever wonder why you do certain things? Like afterward, you are like “why on earth did I do that or think that was a good idea?” On Wednesdays, Jon works late so I had a couple hours to read my book before he got home and the book I was reading was called three sisters- a beautifully written book about 3 sisters surviving the holocaust. It goes into painful detail about the horrors and suffering they experienced- I actually really like and appreciate this genre but this was probably my 4th book on the holocaust in the last few months so it was feeling heavy. I mean the author writes in such a way that you can’t not feel the pain. And then Jon was coming home so I got dinner ready, we ate and then we settled in to watch a show we were watching together- a show on the life of Robert  Durst- who if you don’t know who that is is a suspected serial killer who dismembered one of his victims. This as well is also very intriguing and well done. But after we watched an episode, I thought to myself why did I just spend the last few hours entertaining myself with true horror stories- that can’t be good for my brain or my mental health- and this is all in addition to watching the current horror stories on the news.

This scripture today – the infamous prodigal son-is like the poster boy parable of the Bible- people who aren’t even religious get this reference. But I think because we have heard it so many times it falls on deaf ears. So I just wanted to point out a couple of things that maybe we don’t think about right off the bat. 1st- this son didn’t just decide to go do his own thing and find his own way. Sure he wandered but he legit wasted his inheritance and not on like a hopeful entrepreneurial opportunity but it says he spent it on prostitutes and wild living- insert drinking, partying- maybe drugs if this was present day. And he squandered it so much he wound up homeless, scraping for food. If we put this in a modern context, most parents would be angry- sure happy that their child was safe and back at home but their child did not respect the hard work it took the parents to make that money for them to spend it on such foolish things. It’s disrespectful and inconsiderate. But the father doesn’t even give a lecture first before saying he’s glad the son is home- he was waiting and hoping the son would come home and once home- no questions asked. He barely allowed time for the son to repent because he knew his returning home was repentance- the father wasn’t trying to make this any harder for his son after what he had been through. He was simply grateful he was home. That’s a level of grace and mercy that is hard to comprehend. The other thing we don’t think about is how easily the father just gave the inheritance to his younger son- I’m sure he knew his son’s personality and maturity level but again he didn’t lecture him about how to use it or remind him what’s at stake- he simply lets the son do as he wishes. The father here representing God shows 2 major characteristics- 1. God does not try and control us- God lets us live our lives as we please- God trusts us with our own lives and respects the decisions we make regardless of whether they are good for us or not. 2. God values being in relationship with us more than the harm we have done- God’s concern that we are safe overshadows the mistakes we have made.

The question that comes to my mind when I read this scripture is, Who is the gospel for? Who will this God make all the difference in the world to? Well, this text says, Those who squander their inheritance on prostitutes? Funny last week when we talked about Hosea, God was for the prostitute and today for those who are paying for them- but in a more broad sense- it is also all Those who are lost, those who make bad decisions, those who mess up, those who feel they are disappointments, who feel they don’t live up to their parent’s standards. The celebration isn’t given to the one that never left- the celebration is given to the one that had returned home.

When I think about what the church was intended to be I think it probably looks pretty close to a homeless camp, a rehab, a mental health facility, a prison, a get-together for the LGBTQIA community. I think it’s probably chaotic and messy- lots of trauma and bad behaviors and despair. Passages like the one we read today and almost all in the new testament are proponents of the church being for the outcast, the reject, the one who is different- who society says can’t measure up. I’m not saying we all don’t need God- we do but I’ve only been in a couple churches where I could look around and say yeah this is a bunch of rejects.

At a church, I served in Pittsburgh when I was giving my first sermon ever- I had a drunk man from the back yelling at me during it- loudly- that was probably the purest form of church I have yet to experience and it felt good. It felt real. The church is for all people but I think the “younger brothers” of the world are the ones that the church connects with or gives life to the most.

I, on the other hand, am the older brother in this story- as a 31-year-old white woman married to a man, both of us with master’s degrees, we have a dog, a baby on the way, good jobs, good supportive families, retirement savings… I don’t feel that rejected by society, I don’t feel that lost, I don’t feel I have suffered much. I’m here chilling trying to be obedient with what I have. I’m the older brother. Are you the older brother or the younger brother in this story? Both we see become lost in different ways at different times in this parable.

The older brother starts to become the lost one when he starts the comparison game- why did my brother get grace like that and I didn’t? He’s so worried about himself and what is owed to him that he’s missing out on all the joy. His father’s joy and his brother’s joy are probably contagious- there is so much grace and love and it can’t even touch this brother because he’s so hard-hearted. He didn’t have to go through all that turmoil that his younger brother went through- he still has his inheritance, he didn’t have to have that troubled relationship with his family during those years, he didn’t have to scrounge for food or feel lost, he didn’t have to learn how to swallow his pride and humbly admit he was wrong. He’s so focused on what’s in it for him because he stayed-  he cant appreciate his lack of suffering- being safe and loved and never feeling like he didn’t belong. This is why the dad celebrates the younger son- the dad probably knew his son wasn’t as in good of hands as if he had stayed but the dad had to let him go and learn for himself. The son was starving, working too hard, isolated and lonely. The dad celebrated that the son didn’t have to go through this anymore.

What do we miss out on because we are so focused on what other people did or didn’t get? The grace they received. How are we focused on how others people’s lives turned out that we miss our own blessings before us?

How do we celebrate other people well? When I got pregnant I was nervous to tell some people that I either knew were having fertility problems or their spouses did not want children. I understood that it would be hard for them to be happy for me given their own situation but to my surprise, all 3 of these people were actually the happiest for me. All 3 were the only 3 that cried,  well apart from my mother-in-law- it was as if this news was more meaningful to them because they understood how special it was. They were just happy that if they couldn’t have it that someone they loved could. They were beautiful moments of seeing how joy can overcome our own situations. They weren’t being polite- they honestly felt joy… some of us may ask how? It almost sounds like a superpower- that despite what is happening in your life when good things come to those you love- it enhances your life as well. We’d have a much better chance at life satisfaction that’s for sure.  

How do we step outside of ourselves? Reading all those books from the holocaust actually helps me to understand this- the Robert durst series- that was just entertainment- it’s hard to learn empathy lessons from a psychopath. But this book I just finished- 3 sisters- all 3 sisters end up surviving- 2 of them were in the camps for 3 years and 1 was in there for only 1 year. The second half of the book after they survive explores the guilt and grief they feel going forward. All 3 girls end up marrying and their husbands all go through stages of feeling guilty that their suffering was not as bad as their wives. To the sisters they don’t get this guilt- to them to suffer is to suffer- they would never want someone to experience what they did and they feel better that they didn’t. This is also the theme of the sister that was in Auschwitz for only 1 year compared to the 3 years. She has such guilt she could not have been there for her sisters but they try to tell her that knowing she wasn’t there was the only way they survived. Knowing she wasn’t suffering the same those years gave them hope. Their suffering didn’t cause them to want other people to suffer- They want people’s lives to be easy.

It seems that those who suffer usually have this outlook unless their suffering has caused them to be bitter. But this is a different outlook than that of the older brother- I wonder if because he hasn’t suffered, I mean really suffered- he feels he suffering because his brother was shown a grace that he himself didn’t need-  that he wants his brother to suffer- I wonder if this entitlement that he mistakes for suffering is what makes it hard for him to be truly happy. It doesn’t always happen this way but often it seems that those who feel entitled to have it good are more likely to play this comparison game- to question the little ways people have it better. Surprisingly the people I know who have less than me seem pretty content or if they have frustrations it’s never about an individual that has it better than them. They are focused on themselves and their own situation.  I include myself in the entitled group- not even in a negative way but in a realistic way- if I really think about it I think I have the belief that things should be as easy for me as they are for others if not more so. And when they are not, I ask why. Where does this belief come from? That I deserve as much as the next person? And maybe we all deserve as much as the next person but to let the realization that you have less impact on your capacity to have joy for others and lessen your own experience of joy doesn’t seem to serve us well.

Does your suffering cause you to feel others should suffer too or does it cause you to be happy for those who haven’t gone through what you went through? Has the suffering you have experienced come from a purely outside place or has some of it come from within? What keeps us from being happy for those who needed grace and received it? Why do we get angry when we didn’t even need that grace in the first place- shouldn’t we instead be grateful? It’s not like they stole it- there’s enough to go around and we should be happy we didn’t need it. How has your entitlement that you deserve things caused you to miss out on some joy? If you are like me, you identify as the older brother which has the potential to bypass a lot of struggles in life but at the same time has the strong temptation or possibility of turning that good fortune into entitlement and causing you to miss out on a lot of joy for yourself and others. This time around this parable taught me to be wary of how comparing myself to others could rob me of more than I may realize. Amen.

Are you willing to change?

Luke 13: 1-9

When I worked at the VA, a very common thought that I had encountered from the veterans was that they believed the suffering they were experiencing was karma- or due to them. They believed this was punishment for something they had done in their life. To them, this was a fact- the way things worked. I tried to debunk this belief- this kind of keeping score mentality but to believe the opposite that there is no keeping score- especially with God is many times too good to be true for some. The idea that no matter what you have done- you are still as loved as the next person and that God doesn’t wish harm or punishment on you because of something you’ve done- doesn’t fit in with the world we know- especially if you’ve spent time in a culture where ranking is important. The question becomes- Where’s the retribution? This too-good scenario doesn’t come with retribution so it’s hard to get on board. You see, With God if you repent, there is none.

In our scripture today- in the first part we see it clearly stated that suffering does not come to those who sin more- Jesus doesn’t say why suffering comes but it’s not based on how much you messed up. In this scripture is where we start to understand that sin is not rated- sin is not judged on the severity- in this way sin is equal. Now Jesus does make a big point to say- that repentance here is a must.

In our Bible study group right now we are going through the book of Hosea. If you don’t know much about Hosea- in a nutshell, it uses a metaphor where there is a man Hosea who God tells to marry a prostitute Gomer- Gomer, does not know how to love this way- a committed, vulnerable, love outside of just the physical so time and time again she leaves and goes back to her ways and cheats on her husband. Hosea continues to bring her back into relationship with him despite how hurt he is. This metaphor is meant to show the relationship between God and Israel. God wants to be in a committed relationship with Israel but because we don’t know how to love like that- we leave- we worship other idols. God continually takes us back- but God asks that we repent of our unfaithfulness. This is a major theme in the book. God is angry- More than that God is hurt and God can only forgive those he is in covenant with if they repent of the hurt they have done. So this is obviously a major part of reconciliation for God. Reconciliation is possible but it’s a process, one that involved repentance so what exactly is repentance. It’s more than just saying one is sorry, that they will try and do better. I personally think the word sorry is so overused- it’s lost its meaning because we say it without thinking. When we are kids we are taught to say it because it’s the right thing to do- kids say it even when they don’t feel remorse because their parents make them or they know it’s the fastest way out of the situation they find themselves in. And we grow up and think the same way. We say sorry when we aren’t sorry and we don’t say it when we are. Apologizing without action doesn’t mean much. We can be remorseful of our actions but that doesn’t mean that thing will stop happening. Gomer can be remorseful that she keeps cheating on Hosea but unless that remorse evokes a change in behavior, you have to wonder how strong the remorse is. I know it gets complicated when we bring in things we feel we can’t control like addiction or anger issues or things someone might not be able to change on their own. But I think that’s why repentance is more than a sorry- It’s an understanding of why their actions were hurtful and a change in mindset or even to change the inner man. It shows that to be in relationship with each other- to learn how not to hurt each other we must change. If your behavior is hurting someone, then sometimes you need to learn to change- ask for help- work to make yourself healthier for the other person. So why does God care so much? In all the scripture when God is angry it seems the anger dissipates after repentance happens. I wonder if God cares so much not because it’s about someone admitting they are wrong- this is often what we think of- but that because God knows the only way we can learn how to love each other well is if we are willing to change, if we are willing to become healthier- if we are willing to learn how to think differently, act differently. Like Gomer because she had been taught love looked like a transaction- that she was only worth what she could give and that love wasn’t loyal or faithful or trusting- she would have to learn to think about love differently and show love differently if her marriage with Hosea was going to work. It wasn’t just the cheating that was getting in the way of having a loving marriage- it was that she simply did not know how to let Hosea love her and she didn’t know how to be loved but more importantly she didn’t know how to love herself. It was easier for her to avoid vulnerability, dependability, the process of trusting, letting go of control, and all the things involved in marriage. Gomer had to change in order to be in this committed relationship- she had to repent of what she knew so Hosea could teach her a different way. This is what God asks of us- to repent of the ways of the world- the things we are taught that will keep us from understanding God’s love fully. Like the veterans- they can’t grasp that there is no ranking system of punishment based on behavior- that God loves all people equally and God does not wish that they pay for their sins. For many of the vets I saw- it will take a long time to unlearn some of these beliefs and thoughts.  The word Repentance at least for me, makes me cringe sometimes- it feels very shaming and demanding. I wonder if we begin to think about repentance as it actually is- a change of our inner selves- a desire from God for us to do so so that we can be reconciled, if we would have a better understanding of God and why we should want to do this. Reframing this word can reframe God from being a harsh demanding God to a God that pleas with us to be willing to do the work to be in relationship with him, others, and ourselves. A God that wills us to love ourselves so we can know how to love others.

In the second part of the scripture, I think we see a similar lesson. This is a tough story to interpret. The fig tree isn’t bearing any fruit- for 3 years and it should have by now. But the fig tree, it’s not like it has the ability to just decide to bear fruit- its bearing fruit is contingent on the sun, the rain, the soil… all things out of the control of the fig tree. And yet the tree is being threatened to be torn down for things out of its control. What’s the meaning here? If we look at the tree being cut down as this tree’s suffering then it shows that the tree might suffer not because of anything it did or didn’t do but because of external factors- situations out of its control- like the weather. I’m not saying this is the sole reason suffering comes upon people- we all know people who have brought suffering upon themselves but there are certainly people who have suffered that didn’t deserve it.

What if like the vineyard caretaker, God tries to give us more time, God tries to hold the suffering off- sometimes maybe it works- sometimes maybe the fig tree bears fruit in that 4^th year, and sometimes maybe it doesn’t and the suffering does come. In this story the caretaker had empathy for the fig tree, he wanted to give it more time to produce its fruit and avoid the suffering. I’m not sure what came of the fig tree but we see here that God is empathetic and God does not want us to suffer. Both the first and second parts of the scripture today show how God’s grace overpowers all else- in the first part God’s grace overpowers sin with forgiveness and in the second part Gods, grace overpowers the idea that we have to provide something or be something for God in order for us to be worthy.

God calls us to repentance but God is also patient with us- trying to help us get there. Giving us chance after chance to get it right.

So as a community can we help each other get it right? Every Sunday we read together a confession- We put apart time to become aware of the things we need to repent of. Again not in a commanding way but in a way that helps us to love one another better. Like other forms of liturgy like the call to worship or the Lord’s prayer- you may recite this without much thought so used to the order of worship. But in encouraging you to remember we don’t say it because that’s what you do- we say it because there is a reason- because there is no other set apart time in our week where we become aware of where missed the mark. I’m not naïve enough to think that many of you aren’t up at night tossing and turning because you are overanalyzing all you have done wrong or might have done wrong or blaming yourselves too harshly. This time of confession isn’t that- it’s not a time to beat up on yourself and feel bad about yourself- this is a time to actively work on becoming better- not feeling shame or guilt- but as a chance to move forward, to start again. This is you saying to God and thus all humans okay let’s keep working on this relationship because it’s worth it. This is a time of release- confessing the things you wish could have gone differently and a time of being empowered that you can make progress and that with just the confession you have already started.

When you come to this time of confession, you find mercy and grace. Daughter, when you go to confession, to this fountain of My mercy, the Blood and Water which came forth from My Heart always flows down upon your soul and ennobles it. Every time you go to confession, immerse yourself in My mercy, with great trust, so that I may pour the bounty of My grace upon your soul. When you approach the confessional, know this, that I Myself am waiting there for you. I am only hidden by the priest, but I myself act in your soul. Here the misery of the soul meets the God of mercy. Tell souls that from this fount of mercy souls draw graces solely with the vessel of trust. If their trust is great, there is no limit to My generosity. The torrents of grace inundate humble souls. The proud remain always in poverty and misery, because My grace turns away from them to humble souls. –St. Faustina, Divine Mercy in My Soul