We Are Relational Beings

I’ve been on a mission this past week to constantly remind myself that this season we are in is the season of Easter. Easter is not just a one day celebration but it is a season and in this season we discover relationship renewed and made right. We experience joy and love and the unexpected. We only experience this though because God chose relationship above all else. It was selfless and sacrificial and painful but it was worth it because being in relationship with God and one another is what we were made for. We were made to be in relationship.

You are probably saying, “Okay, okay we get it. How many times do you need to say the word relationship before we get it’s important?” My friends in seminary would always make fun of me for saying, “We are relational beings” because it was my go to argument for almost any theological claim. I think we understand this phrase is important but we sometimes forget why it is so important. In the busyness and hurriedness of our lives we constantly put relationships on the back burner, intentionally or not.

Richard Rohr in his new book, The Divine Dance emphasizes God as Relationship. We serve a triune God, a relational God. We most clearly see God in our relationships with one another. It is in these relationships that we can glimpse our own relationship with God. Before Jesus, we had a broken relationship with God and sin ruled because of that broken relationship. We are now in right relationship with God and yes we still see the effects of that broken relationship but I believe that if we live out Jesus’ example of- not “perfect” living but restoring broken relationships maybe we will begin to see more communion and less hatred. More good less evil. More Holiness less sinfulness. Sin starts with broken relationship- it doesn’t lead us there.

We are relational beings. I say it so often because I think we overlook the simplicity. The act of being in relationship isn’t easy. In fact it can be extremely challenging but it is an ordinary part of our world. We are in some sort of relationship with everyone we encounter whether that be a romantic relationship, a friendship, an acquaintance, a work relationship, or the relationship you have with the barista at your local coffee shop.  I don’t think we really understand how God works in relationship- how God transforms through relationship, reveals through relationship, heals through relationship. And maybe we don’t have to understand how relationship is transformational as long as we trust that it is and we do the work to create and sustain those relationships.

God does extraordinary things through the ordinary.

God is the sacred embedded in the secular.

Maybe I’m crazy but I think relationship can be transformational in the normal human every day things because of the one and done Divine thing that already took place. I think conversation about The Office is Sacred. Sipping coffee in the morning is Sacred. Doing the dishes is Sacred. Laughing with your friends about the embarrassing things you did on social media 9 years ago is Sacred (thanks Facebook).

It’s all Sacred if you have the eyes to see.  Lent was the season of anxious awaiting and taking a good deep look at our brokenness. Lent was the season of taking on life’s big questions and calling into question our humanity. Easter, however is a season of joy. Easter is a time to take notice of the little things, the inconsequential things. Easter is the exhale after the long inhale of Lent.

I have first hand seen how important relational things, such as asking someone how they are doing or sitting with someone in the silence are. God gave up everything to be in relationship with us so during this Easter season let us try and give up just a little to be more aware of the ways we can be in relationship with one another. For you that might be sitting down and finally having that hard conversation you have been dreading or it can be shooting someone a text letting them know you are thinking of them. Whatever it is, trust that it matters.

The “What If” Demons

Last Tuesday night my church, Hot Metal Bridge Faith Community was hosting a concert by Gungor. Gungor is a band made up of a husband and wife who unapologetically write and sing about their faith and the many doubts that come along with having faith. People talk about people who are honest about doubt as if they are dangerous and maybe they are, but they are dangerous in all the right ways. They are dangerous because they are willing to discover something new for themselves and most of us are too scared for that. I can confidently say that everyone I have come across that is willing to be vulnerable enough to ask hard questions also has a faith that is stronger and more beautiful than those of the people who don’t need to ask any questions. It is a faith that so few of us are comfortable with.

You see this kind of faith is strong because it has already encountered the demons that threatened to tear it apart- and it has come out on the other side. I like to call these demons the “what if” demons. Most of the questions we are scared to ask ourselves are “what if” questions. What if Jesus isn’t God? What if Jesus didn’t resurrect? What if the cross is for ALL people? What if God didn’t intend for guilt and shame to run our lives? And what if we really are loved just the way we are?

Micheal Gungor talked about his journey of deconstruction. He talked about the process of deconstructing his faith and how it is a long unknown journey. He talked about how it’s as if, when you call everything into question and you feel everything has lost meaning and nothing makes sense and you are standing, looking into an abyss suddenly things start to have meaning again. What was once holy and then became unholy has now become holy again. In a completely new way.

Deconstruction by itself is dangerous (in the not good way) but deconstruction partnered with reconstruction is dangerous in the best way possible because then it becomes a force to be reckoned with. It is a force to be reckoned with because the “what if” questions don’t hold power anymore.

As Micheal Gungor was talking about the beauty in deconstructing his faith so that he could reconstruct it, I began to think about how I am doing this with my life. I did the whole faith deconstruction reconstruction thing while in College and Seminary which is maybe why, just now at 26 I am realizing that life since Seminary has been a deconstruction of sorts.

I have been asking myself all sorts of questions about the Church, and ministry, and finances and purpose and fulfillment. The more questions I ask the more unconvinced I am that the answers to these questions will be found in the neatly confined spaces I thought they would be. I started asking myself what it looks like to do things differently. What does it look like to have 3 part time jobs instead of 1 full time job? What does it look like if my assumed picture of happiness-marriage, 3 kids, a house in the suburbs and summer vacations isn’t what my future holds or even my ideal picture of happiness? Maybe life won’t look that different in these what if scenarios but the questions still need to be asked.

I just started working at a coffee shop and without realizing what I was signing up for or what this decision meant, I have come to see that I have entered a whole new culture of sorts. In this context I am surrounded by artists, musicians, photographers, self starters, coffee professionals and honestly just people who think about the world differently. Life isn’t so much a game of upward mobility as it is an experience. I am excited and terrified to be around people who think differently and see the world differently than me but opening our minds is part of the reconstruction process. I can allow myself to ask those hard questions only if I am willing to answer them and put something in their place if those answers no longer suffice.

The more you learn the more you realize how much you don’t know. The more questions you ask, the more questions you have to ask. I am just hopeful that I can have the courage to ask those questions and stay onboard for the journey. I am hopeful that if I can dismantle the power the “what if” questions hold then my life will become a force to be reckoned with as well as my faith.

What “what if” questions do you need to ask before the fear of those answers take a hold of you?