This past Sunday I was in Philly for a bridal shower because I am one of the bridesmaids. For the record, I suck at being a bridesmaid- and I’ve been a bridesmaid now 6 times. I can be there for emotional support but anything that has to do with monogramming things or making a room look like it should be featured on Pinterest and I am tapping out- I have learned though to humble myself and ask for grace straight from the getgo- This past weekend was my friend christina’s bridal shower and as soon as she arrived I felt the need to confess my guilt so I flat out told her that I did nothing, was no help and I’m the worst bridesmaid ever. The MOH, Erin who is a close childhood friend of mine knows how I am and just told me to write her a check and she wouldn’t assign me any tasks because she knows me and she knows they are not my thing. I decided Next time I get asked, if there is a next time I’ll still say yes but this time there will be a disclaimer. I won’t be much help, I will probably complain about how much everything costs and how I work on Sundays so your bachelorette party, bridal shower and wedding are really messing with my vacation days BUT I will support you and love you and be there if you have a mental breakdown which now a days with weddings is a high likelihood. If you want to pull a Jim and Pam and get married before your wedding, I’m your girl- see I do have some value as a bridesmaid. Not everyone’s bridal party is equipped with an ordained pastor. My point is- I don’t even try and pretend I am a good bridesmaid anymore- I know I need to ask for the slack that I will inevitably need- I need a lot of grace.
And today, that’s really what we are talking about. The passage is all about Love but this kind of love we are talking about is only made available to us through grace. So those of us that have a hard time accepting grace, this is for us. Today’s text is all about how nothing can separate us from the Love of God and Paul means this as a celebration which it is- but living in this world we live in has made it so hard to embrace this love God wants to give us. Some of us don’t trust it and some of us are too proud for it. The questions we have to ask ourselves are, Can we be humble and/or be trusting enough to accept this love?
Human love is already difficult to accept but then when you add in the Divine fine print here that this love is unconditional, freely given and expects nothing in return we become that much more skeptical. Accepting love is difficult because it forces you to come face to face with your humanity- your vulnerability. When you allow yourself to be loved you risk being hurt- the beautiful thing about God’s love is- that God is not human and does not love imperfectly. God loves perfectly and tells us that perfect love casts out all fear- we do not have to fear that we will be hurt.
One of the beautiful things about God’s love is that since it is perfect we don’t have to be. It’s beautiful but it’s complicated in that it’s actually not complicated at all. We are invited to rest in this love but we feel uncomfortable because we are used to a conditional love. It’s the classic this is too good to be true so we never let our guard down mentality. There are no conditions here. It doesn’t make sense and yet there it is. A cold hard fact- you are loved and nothing is going to change that. No matter how much you mess up or fail or disappoint someone or yourself. This isn’t a love you can earn. There’s no way to make God love you more. There is nothing we can do to get into God’s good graces- we are there and we’re not going anywhere. Why? Because it’s freely given. Our current human formula for love doesn’t work. We don’t have a system that doesn’t include working for something or earning something. This is a love that feels foreign to this world. Sure we may get glimpses of this selfless love in our relationships but in it’s fullness it’s not something we can comprehend. It’s undeserving and grace-filled and mind-boggling. It’s uncomfortable and emotional and kind of terrifying. It’s dangerous- not because you might get hurt but because of what this love can empower you to do.
I want to really unpack this- and this isn’t something you are going to figure out during this service but it’s something for you to go home and think about.
The scripture tells us that nothing can separate us from the love of God but we don’t really believe this do we? So, what do you think separates you from the love of God? Which sin is it? We all probably have at least one that we are pretty sure put us in the unlovable column- when you cheated on your spouse? When you disappointed your parents? When you selfishly hurt someone for your own gain? When you had those really ugly thoughts? When you relapsed for the 5th time? This is why it’s so hard for us because we are undeserving and we know it. And our pride tells us we don’t want someone to come by and say it’s okay. We want to make up for it- we want to make it better. But you can’t make it better. Only Jesus could make it better, only Jesus could make up for it. Jesus represented every human sin and every possible thing that could get in the way of God’s love and became the reconciliation that we needed. The scripture says that Jesus is interceding for us which is another way of saying reconciling for us. Jesus has made right what was not right. And now we can humble ourselves enough to accept that grace or we can continue to work for something that has already been accomplished.
In the book of Hosea which is one of the books of the Bible found in the Old Testament, for the main female character Gomer, the sin that she felt put her in the unlovable column was her shame at being a prostitute. Every year at Christmas I read this book called Redeeming Love which is a retelling of the book of Hosea. The author uses some creative liberties in this love story that uses Hosea and Gomer’s love as a metaphor for the love between God and His people. While I do not take this piece of writing to be the word of God I still think it offers a faithful rendition of the text.
Gomer is a prostitute- she had a rough upbringing and was sold into prostitution when she was a young girl. Over the years she has been hurt and disrespected and shamed so many times that she has vowed to close herself off to the world so much so that nothing could hurt her again. She hardened herself to the point where she trusts no one and nothing and she has no expectations that life could be any different than it has been. Then this man comes along, Hosea- a good, honest, gentle, hardworking man and he wants to buy her out of prostitution and invite her to let him love her. But she says no because she does not trust him and why should she? In her experience men are all the same- out for their own selfish gain. Goodness does not exist to her. Genuine love does not exist to her. This is one more man using love as a form of manipulation for selfish ambition.
If we fast forward, we see Gomer does end up being loved by Hosea- not by her own will though- she found herself so sick she couldn’t take care of herself and so she gives in out of sheer defeat and lets Hosea take care of her- thinking nothing worse could happen to her then what’s already happened to her in the past. As he’s taking care of her he tries to show her a different kind of love- a love that is foreign to her. A love that is selfless and good intentioned and honorable. And yet as soon as she is better she leaves him. But he goes after her and brings her back. This happens time and time again. And each time she goes back to her old ways- to what she knows- to what in an odd way has become a much easier way of living- giving herself to men who only want her for what she can offer them. But he never gives up on trying to make her feel loved. And she keeps leaving because even though she eventually starts to let his love in, she doesn’t feel worthy of his love. She feels too ashamed of her past and doesn’t feel like she can earn this love or do enough to keep it and make him stay. Because when he really learns who she is- he will surely leave. It is only after she begins to feel worthy that the love Hosea has for her becomes desirable and thus a redeeming aspect in her life.
This story is all about God trying to get through to his people that God’s love is not something you can earn, or make yourself good enough for or work hard to keep. It is a love that is given freely just because we are human. It is undeserving and grace filled and there is absolutely nothing we can do about it except give in.
Whether or not this has been our experience with love, I think on some level we can all relate to this- we get a part of this story and we can connect with it.
My friend Scott used to say, remember what God says to you- Daughter you are loved at your Darkest. Gomer is loved at her darkest. You are loved at your darkest.
I want to talk about why this love is so important though- because we can opt out- we can say no thanks, i’m good. I’m going to keep my guard up and go on living life the way I know how. But if we do this, are we losing something? I think we are. A commentary I read says this, “ God’s love is the ultimate human fulfillment. In a world that is currently lurching from “I think, therefore I am” to “ I shop, therefor I am” the challenge to find one’s human identity in being loved- “I am loved therfore I am” is central to discovering the genuine way of being human. And when with or without specific human loves to incarnate it, human beings discover afresh that they are loved and embraced by the God who made heaven and earth, then what is found is fulfillment that can never be self-centered, a personal enrichment that has nothing to do with self help programs.”
I’m going to make a really bad analogy here- I was going to say something like God’s love is the gasoline that our lives run on ( super cheesy I know)- like we can only truly live the way we were intended if we have God’s love, which I do think is true but that’s a poor theological analogy because phrasing it that way puts way too much pressure on us to choose God’s love. I think the whole point of this passage is to take the pressure off of human agency. God has already chosen us. I don’t believe that only those who identify themselves as Christians have access to this love. I think we all, whether we know it or not already have this “God’s love gasoline” running through our veins but what makes life more enjoyable and purposeful is when we become aware of it.
So here’s an analogy that I think is more theologically accurate yet equally cheesy. You know lawn mowers? I don’t really or I didn’t until about a year ago but I know there are ones that have a second handle up top that you can pull on that directs the lawn mower and makes it much easier to push up hills. There is the top handle that you push with but this one is right underneath. I didn’t know this for awhile though and was using the lawn mower without this handy trick and then my roommate showed me it really doesn’t have to be that difficult. But even still sometimes I forget about that magic handle. If it’s been awhile since I mowed the lawn or I forget its not supposed to be this difficult. Same goes for God’s love- often we forget that it’s there, we let the world convince us that our identity is our sin- our mistakes and pretty soon we have forgotten that our identity lies in the fact that we are loved. So yeah, God’s love is like that- a second magic handle on a lawn mower that makes mowing your lawn easier…
God’s love is already in each one of our lives in a very real way and if we become aware of it we can begin to live into this human fulfillment. Where we find our identity in being loved and not by being useful, or by being successful, or by how much money we make or how many friends we have or by our talents or skills but by the simple fact that we are loved by God.
This love is so important because while it’s an odd and wondrous love it’s a dangerous love- again not because you might get hurt but because of what this love can empower you to do. Let this love define you and give you the confidence to do the things you want to do. Let it empower you to love differently than that of the broken examples of love we see in the world.
Amen.
Floundering With A Purpose 