Where Do We Go From Here?

Ruth 1:1-22

Where do we go from here? This question can be asked as an exciting- “whats next?” or it can be asked in the midst of despair- a “what now?”. Jon and I asked this question about 2 years ago- it was a mix of excitement and I wouldn’t say despair but desperation maybe. It was the start of the pandemic and Jon was finishing his master’s program and would need a job and I was finishing my chaplaincy residency and would need a job. This excitement turned a little more desperate as layoffs were happening and all of Jon’s interviews were put on a freeze. We were two people working in the social services- a pastor and a counselor- just starting our lives together. So where did we go? DC. We decided to move to one of the most expensive cities in the US with no jobs- in a pandemic. I had been offered a position that paid me in housing, not a salary and so we decided with free housing it was as much a risk as anywhere else. Luckily it worked out for us- something that still annoys my siblings “ how things just fall into place” for me but it definitely could have been more difficult. Moving to a new city in a pandemic is- well something I don’t recommend. Living on a college campus during a pandemic is something I don’t recommend either but looking back I’m glad we did it. 2 years ago I could have never imagined what our life would be like. And whether you are forced to ask this question or you choose to, you do need an answer if you want to see what might be.

This is the last week of our 4-week sermon series based around curiosity and intentionality. We have asked the questions, Where are you from, Where does it hurt, what do you need and now today we ask where do we go from here? All of these questions imply deep curiosity and care about connecting and understanding someone. This question of where do we go from here is meant to propel us into something new- a new beginning, a new way of thinking, a new challenge. Ruth and Naomi took their pain and grief and decided to forge a new way together. They had different cultures and religions and yet beginning anew together was worth it to them. Ruth could have easily left her mother-in-law because she needed a man to help her survive but she chose to stay with Naomi anyway.

A former boss of mine and pastor, Aisha-Brooks-Johnson writes this about the Ruth/Naomi story- “The story of Ruth and Naomi offers an inside look at grief, loss, and God’s ability to redefine the meaning of family and community. In grief and loss, it is easy to withdraw and handle heavy burdens alone. Grief can be dizzying, leaving one with a multiplicity of emotions. I, too, know the experience of widowhood at a younger age. While a few verses mention the death of a father and two sons, there are thousands of unwritten pages of pain, emotion, grief, and loss in the lives of Naomi, Ruth, and Orpah that we will never know.

Naomi carried an additional burden, knowing her daughters-in-law would have to navigate as single women within a patriarchal society. Naomi’s natural response to the pain is one of fear, anger, and isolation. One daughter-in-law respects Naomi’s wishes and returns to her familial surroundings. The other daughter-in-law, Ruth, does not. Ruth’s response echoes the unending and far-reaching love of God. Ruth’s response is not one of fight or flight but is rooted and grounded in being bound to another. In the face of loss, these family ties are deepened through a spiritual bond of connection, commitment, and community. Ruth is willing to live, worship, work, advocate, walk alongside, and find her earthly resting place with Naomi from this day forward.

We have experienced a lot of death, grief, and loss in the midst of a global pandemic, racial brokenness, economic disparity, and political division. Can you imagine a world in which we took spiritual oaths like the one we find in the book of Ruth? What if we resisted the temptation to fight or flee in the face of grief, pain, and oppression? What if we took these vows with members of our human family? Imagine a member of the human family before you and speak these words aloud to them: By the mercy of God and because of God’s grace, we are bound to one another. Your pain is not your own but is now my pain. The plight of your people is held in my hands and my heart as if they were my own. Where you journey and work, I too, will journey and work alongside you, with God’s help. Where your bones are buried, may I too, find a resting place and declare every earthly resting place sacred in the eyes of God”

I love how Aisha articulates what ruth did to Naomi as taking a vow- making a commitment. We are distinctly aware that we make vows in marriage, in baptism but we also subconsciously make vows all the time- vows of how we will care and love for our children, vows to our professional life- our parents, our friends, the way we treat the earth. Taking vows are part of our spiritual rituals and rhythms that help us order our values and missions as people. This got me thinking a lot about what IPC’s vow is to the community. In the year that I have been your past, I have realized that IPC is different than other churches. Many times, part of a pastor’s job is to use the scripture to teach people why they should want to help the poor, hungry, and oppressed. They use scripture to teach values and morals. But you all are already doing these things- you are motivated by your own spirit within you telling you that you are gifted and able to help those less fortunate. You are already convinced the hard work and sacrifice is worth the gift you will give to someone else. Many churches vow is to encourage their congregants to go out and metaphorically feed the community. But you already do this well. I believe IPC’s vow is to feed you all and the community as a whole so that you all can continue to go out and feed the community. We feed you so you can feed others. Our vow is to give you rest, rejuvenation for your souls, to give you strength and courage, and support. You are already doing the work- you have already listened to the spirit within you telling you to do this work and you have listened. I hope IPC can be the place to help you on that journey, fill you up when you are feeling empty. I hope we can spiritually and emotionally provide what you need for the work ahead.

When we ask this question, “where do we go from here”? we have to keep in mind that this can look many different ways- there is not just 1 mold, 1 answer. Naomi and ruth changed the mold- 2 women making their way on their own. We also see this in Jesus- who came to redefine what it looked like to live faithfully- who came to show how to use a guideline to create faithful living rather than worship the guideline itself. There’s a story in Acts with Peter who is a rule follower and he has a vision in which there are all kinds of unclean animals and a voice tells him to go and kill and eat of them- and he says no Lord, I have never eaten anything unclean and the voice says, “what God has made clean, do not call common”. In this story, we see that the mold is once again changed. God changes the mold.

The main takeaway here is that God asks us to use the resources given to us to do God’s will- making people feel loved. This past month we’ve been particularly talking about how to make people feel loved through showing we care who they are and we care about their story. We wish to know them and to share their burdens. For the past 3 weeks we have been talking about how to do this in our individual lives- how do we make space for other people and their pain- how do we heal our own pain. And today we have been talking about this communally- How does IPC as a community- show people we care who they are and we care about their story. I care about all of you and your stories, as I know you care about each others. So let our answer to the question of where do we go from here be that we are a place where people come and are cared for we are curious about their story and how we can be there for them in their pain. Let this be a place of refuge for the weary and tired. Let this be a place of understanding and empathy. Let this be a place of rejuvenation for the soul. We do this so that all of us can be strengthened to go out that next week and do the good work you have already begun.

So often we create these secular and sacred divides- similar to peter believing what God has called clean was unclean- that what God called sacred Peter thought was not scared. They are much more connected- intertwined. What we do outside of these doors is not disconnected from what we do here on Sundays- it’s all connected. To live out your purpose is to live out your faith. Pastors receive therapy and spiritual direction so that we can come to our congregations and offer spiritual direction to them. In the same way- you are all ministers simply by being created by God. You are all equipped to do this work, this mission and hopefully, you are here each week to refuel so you can go back out. I can’t speak for the whole of IPC although from what I have gathered and observed I think we are on the same page but I wrote a vow to you as what I promise as your pastor.

I vow to make space in myself to hold your pain and suffering. I vow to give you the space for questioning and doubt. I vow to listen to your needs, to do my best to meet them. I vow to encourage you and support you in your endeavors. I vow to respect and provide boundaries for your wholeness and well-being. I vow to help you figure out how your heart’s deep gladness and the world’s greatest needs collide. I vow to journey with you as long as you will allow me.

This is my vow to you and I invite you to either make your own to each other or you can adopt this one as your own. I believe there wouldn’t be much hesitation for many of you in taking this vow to each other and anyone else that seeks refuge here. May we live into this vow together. Amen.

What Do You Need?

2 Timothy 4:9-18

I always find it so interesting that people are so uncomfortable asking for what they need. Something that I think comes back to self-worth. Do you feel worthy to ask for someone to meet your needs? Do you feel their sacrifice is worth asking for? So many of us feel like we are asking for too much.

Jon and I see a marriage therapist just because we think it’s helpful for couples to be in counseling together and we to prevent communication problems instead of having to fix them. The biggest thing our therapist has taught us is how to ask for things from each other. And he’s not talking small things- like as much as you want. The answer from the other person of course can be no- it actually has to be allowed for them to say no but you are allowed to ask for as much as you want. The other interesting part about this is that oftentimes we want to ask for a lot more than we even realize. In this one exercise- we ask for a need we have to the other person, and they say back to us- is there more? At first, we would say no and then our therapist challenged that and encouraged us that there probably was more. So if there is more- ask for it. Get it all out there. If you don’t ask, resentment will build, not feeling important, not feeling seen, not feeling worthy. So once you ask for all you need around a certain issue- say it’s about your in-laws- maybe you need communication to look a certain way, or scheduling, or the amount of time spent or the way you spend time with them- so on and so forth- once you ask for everything you need. Then the partner figures out what they can give- what needs they can meet.

One of the things I have heard in modern marriages is that we expect our partners to meet all of our needs- the needs that careers, friends, families, children, social outings, etc. use to meet but now we look for 1 person to take the place of many of those things. It’s too much- your needs are not too much but they were never meant to be met by 1 person. So here we are- here to help meet some of the needs of our neighbors, our family, our friends, our spouses.

You are worthy to ask for what you need. You are worthy to ask for what you believe will make you whole. You might not always get it- relationships are about compromise but like Hannah and her pain- the need itself doesn’t always have to be met- it just has to be listened to and acknowledged- to be seen. In chaplaincy training, there was this analogy of a person who fell in a hole and could not climb out. The goal isn’t always to find a rope and throw it to the person and pull them out sometimes the goal is to jump in the hole with them and just be there with them. Like jobs friends did with him- they didn’t try and make job feel better- they grieved with him and sat with him in his pain.

My question for you today is- What do you need to feel whole?

Commentary on 2 Timothy 4:9-18  |  By Rev. Remington Johnson

While Job asked for nothing, Paul is active. He has requests. He has needs and he is making them known.  “What do you need?” This is such a direct and vulnerable thing to ask. It isn’t a limiting question like, “Would you like me to make you a casserole?” It is open-ended, and when we offer this question to another, we do not know how they will respond.

Paul responds with needs, wants, and a desire for justice. The list is long, both in things that Paul wants brought to him and in wrongs he needs to name.

I asked a person who was nearing death, “What do you need?” They answered, “I need to be healed. I need to feel better.” I cannot heal them. I am not sure I can make them feel better. I can be with them. I can witness the desires of their heart.

Paul offers us a moment of intense humility as he opens himself up to share what he needs. The grievances, the stuff—all of it is important, and offering space for folks to respond openly and honestly about what they need is such a sacred act. Note: this isn’t some form of paternalism where we quickly judge Paul’s needs and make decisions about whether those needs will really serve Paul. We may of course eventually move to a place in the conversation where we talk about what we can and cannot provide, but we must first trust the one we are meeting to know what they need. We can respond to someone’s named needs with additions and clarifications, helping them really target the need that caused the specific request to arise, but again, the first step is hearing—fully hearing—what someone’s needs are and discerning how we might respond. —Rev. Remington Johnson

Do you guys know what a rider is? It is a set list of demands for comfort that an artist requests when playing at a show – some actual items on real artists lists are- the room at 78 degrees with chicken legs heavily seasoned and rose-scented candles, another artist asked for a slushy machine and shower shoes. Sometimes people ask for things that aren’t actually needed but when it comes to things we actually need- we aren’t very good at asking. We might not be aware of what we need and then we might not be vulnerable enough to ask for it when we know. Many of us, especially women feel like we are asking for too much. This is why typically women don’t negotiate their salaries as much as men or why they take on more of the housework or child-rearing. This is true of men too just in different ways- the pressure from society to be providers of a family, fixers, good with finances and keeping everything afloat, the pressure to be a stereotypical man. While women don’t always ask for all their needs to be met, neither do men but it doesn’t mean they don’t have them.

What do you need to feel whole?

Do you feel if you ask for these things you will become unlovable or unlikeable? Do you feel the person you are asking- the friend, the spouse, the parent, the doctor- will decide you are too much and not worth it?

I see this theme constantly in every sphere- hospital patients when I was a chaplain, college students at Georgetown, friends figuring out work relationships, romantic relationships, homeless people in Pittsburgh. I think we have a self-worth problem. And again this isn’t to say we expect all our needs to be met but it’s to say we should feel comfortable asking for all that we need. I also think we have an independence problem- when you know you are dependent on someone else it’s much easier to ask for things because it’s part of your reality- like a child or an animal- they rely on humans to help them survive and they don’t feel guilty asking for things- all the time. But when we start to become more independent- we realize it’s possible to forgo depending on someone else, having to be vulnerable with someone, having to compromise- technically we could just do this all on our own and not have to deal with the feelings that come with needing help- except for the harsh reality that if you do this you don’t become less needy- you just deny your needs and that denial of yourself will show up in different areas of your life.

God has used so many parables and narratives and characters to teach us these 2 things- we are worthy to ask for all that we need and we were created to need each other. These 2 things we try to deny are true in our society. Sometimes I feel like we really go out of our way to make things difficult for ourselves.

I think on some level most of us realize we need each other to not just survive but to thrive but that self-worth thing is getting in the way. I’ve thought a lot about how to help someone see their worth and it’s a tricky thing. Unfortunately telling or showing someone that God loves them or their family and friends love them doesn’t do the trick- they have to love themselves and we are a society where not many people really love themselves or trust themselves or like themselves. This might be in part a fault of the church- after hearing a main message of how sinful we are for so long, I’m sure it sticks, and also society- we focus much more on mistakes than achievements. I don’t know if there is an easy fix.

I will say this though- when we talk about faith, when we talk about believing in things that are hard, that don’t quite make sense- this is what I mean- sure we can talk about having faith in a God that resurrects or is both man and God or in miracles but I think the faith that really matters- that has the power to transform is having faith despite doubt that you are worthy, that you are loved, that you deserve to ask for all that you need. Of course, you are going to have doubts and reasons why you believe this isn’t true but in faith, we are asked to believe anyway- live like it’s true anyway. Just because you don’t understand why you or worthy or what makes you worthy doesn’t mean it isn’t true. You don’t need to understand it all-you just need to have faith that you are indeed worthy. And you just keep coming back to that over and over and over again. That’s what we mean when say we practice faith- we practice believing- believing the things God has said are true about us- we are loved and accepted as we are.

Where Does It Hurt?

1 Samuel 1:1-18

This week we ask the question, Where does it hurt? We are all hurting either from a fresh wound or one from long ago that we still carry with us. This is one of the greatest things we have in common- we all feel pain and we all carry pain. The pain we hear in scripture this morning is from Hannah who is being mocked for not being able to have children- something she deeply wants. Not only does she have this pain of not being able to receive this gift, but she is bullied for it by a fellow human being. I want to make a quick note that this sermon may be hard to hear for some if you have dealt with infertility or miscarriage or child loss. Eventually, Hannah is finally able to bear a child, but this is not the case for all. If this has been you or you know someone who has experienced this, know that that pain is real and valid and often these people suffer in silence. Know that Hannah was whole before she had children and we tell this story because this is an all-too-common story in our society. Hannah was feeling pain because she did not feel seen or acknowledged. In the scripture today we see that she feels better- she is able to eat and feel like herself after she is heard by God. Know that if this is something you dealt with- you are whole just as you are.

In her Commentary on this scripture in 1^st Samuel, Rev. Brittany Fiscus-van Rossum How many of us are hurting in silence, hiding our pain because we believe it to be shameful? Maybe we have been taught that certain afflictions are not for polite company, and we have learned the painful, practiced art of smiling through platitudes. Maybe our pain has been invalidated or ignored so many times that we begin to believe there truly is something disgraceful about our feelings or experiences. Maybe it feels easier to bury our emotions for fear of how they will be perceived. In the book of Samuel, Hannah has been belittled, patronized, and provoked for her infertility—a bodily condition over which she has no control. Some of us, like Hannah, may be all too familiar with the particular grief of infertility. Others of us carry the secret sufferings of child loss, postpartum depression, sickness, job loss, economic insecurity, or addiction. What would we say if someone stopped to ask us, “Where does it hurt?” and acknowledged the validity of our answers? Would we, like Hannah, be able to share our pain with a humble and dignified honesty that trusts that there is no “right” or “proper” way to feel? Would such honesty with our own hurts and disappointments allow us to be more present to others’ afflictions, as well?

Hannah finds some peace after she explains her feelings in her own words, and she is (finally) respectfully acknowledged by Eli. Even as Eli himself is not able to provide an immediate solution for Hannah, he is able to accept her hurting and pray for her. Eli does not have to solve anything to be present. If we are ever to be people who bring peace and healing to this hurting world, we must be willing to pause and bear witness to pain—to our own and others’. Like Hannah, with dignity and honesty we can embrace our stories without shame, trusting that God is present and ever listening. In turn, instead of shirking away or delegitimizing, we can perceive and accept the pain of others, and like the God we follow, stand alongside those who suffer.

I want to talk today about our own pain and how we can make space for other people’s pain. In chaplaincy I was taught that a patient will only reveal as much as they think you can handle. As the one receiving someone’s vulnerability and pain, it is your job to ensure that they feel you can handle their pain and it will not scare you away. You need to do this though by first- actually having this be true. You need to have the room and emotional capacity inside you to be able to hold whatever it is they have for you. You also need to do this by letting them know which many times looks like asking the question. Often times, someone will give us a hint or say something that could be meaningful and if we want and are willing, we take the bait. If we don’t want to, we won’t and this communicates to them that it is not safe to share. I had a student come to me last week who was talking about being overwhelmed and what not and then all of a sudden, she said her friend went home because her mom died and she didn’t tell anyone and this made her sad because her dad died 5 years ago and she knows how she must be feeling. She quickly began to talk about other things, but I sensed she said those things because there was more there. When she stopped, I went back to her dad and I asked her what feelings were brought up in her about her dads passing when she learned about her friend. She started talking and crying and I knew asking her about her pain was what she needed. People won’t put it out there directly- we have to be willing to ask about it hence the question- Where does it hurt?

Now here comes the hard part- or harder part than asking someone about their pain. You see we can’t do this until we make room in ourselves and the way we make room in ourselves is dealing with our own pain. Often times, if we haven’t dealt with our pain or reflected on it we tend to avoid it and pain altogether- meaning other peoples as well. Pain makes us uncomfortable- it seems unbearable and too much. We don’t know how to just sit with it. Let it be with us as we are. Once you learn how to sit with your pain then you can invite someone else to come sit with you in their pain. You make them feel comfortable and you give them permission to feel their pain.

So how do we sit with our pain? I’m not a therapist so all I have to go off of is the scripture and my personal experience. None of this will make it hurt less- that’s not the goal- but it might make it seem bearable. In scripture we hear many times about how pain will not be forever- that the feeling will pass- joy will come in the morning. We might go through hardship or trials, but they are for a time. For some a very long time. Part of the key I think is remembering that this current pain you sit with- that you decide to explore- will not always be as sharp. Over time it becomes slightly duller, more manageable. It’s like seasons- you might not know how long the particular season will last but you trust that it will pass. Knowing that you will not always feel like this makes you strong enough to endure it.

I know for me when I first realized I had to make space for other people’s pain if I was going to do this work, I first spent a lot of time in denial. I wanted to pretend and wished that the things that caused me pain were not a part of my story. My pain didn’t necessarily come in the form of loss or tragedy, but it came in the forms of wishing my story was different, that parts of me were different, that parts of my relationships were different. I didn’t want to confront the realities of what made up my life, I wanted to act as though my life was as perfect as I felt it should be. I have high standards for myself, and I believed that if I didn’t come from a family that other people dreamed of or have the marriage that everyone envied or have the calm-non-anxious presence that seems so natural that it was shameful. I simply did not want to accept that this was not true. I had and still have a hard time accepting that in this respect, I am not special. I am not exempt from pain and disappointment and embarrassment and shame. I cannot escape this part of the human experience and the most important thing I learned is that I am more God-like because of it. Having a life void of messiness and betrayal and mistakes and abandonment, is not Christ-like. I would not be a good pastor if this was true. I probably wouldn’t be able to comfort and understand many people if this were true. I also don’t think it’s possible.

For me, what made some of my pain bearable was realizing that it makes me human. This pain I feel is worth sorting through so I can show someone else how to sort through it. For me, asking people about their pain was healing for me because it reminded me, I am not alone.

Being seen is what makes the pain go away. For Hannah, Eli thought she was drunk because she was speaking but no words were coming out. What he realized is that she was speaking from the heart, and he saw her- her pain, her plea and in blessing her and validating her, that is when she feels better. Only later do we learn that God gave her a child. We believe we would be healed if the suffering would go away and maybe that’s one way, but our suffering also is healed when we feel known and understood.

What do you think it would take for you to make space enough in yourself to allow someone else’s pain in? Do you think therapy would be helpful? Could you challenge yourself to open up to a friend or your spouse? Maybe you write letters about your pain or talk to God about your pain. I know none of us like this. Have any of you seen the show afterlife with Ricky Gervais? It’s a comedy but he lost his wife and is grieving for a long time and most often his grief comes out in over drinking or being a jerk to people- he just doesn’t care about life anymore. After about 3 seasons- he realizes that he wants to be with other people in their pain- this is really the only thing that makes him feel better or makes him forget about his own. He ends up volunteering with kids who have cancer and finds this to be healing in his own grief journey.

I know that you all have been willing to sit with one another in their pain either literally or figuratively. A lot of tragic things have happened to the members of this congregation throughout the years. I hope we can continue to make each other feel comfortable in sharing their pain and that we are continually making space within ourselves to receive it.

Where Are You From?

Genesis 2: 4b-15 John 2: 35-51

This week we begin a sermon series for the next 4 weeks: The creators of this series by a sanctified art, started by asking the questions: “How can we listen to one another? How do we find connection despite distance? How do we create space for compassionate dialogue and for seeking the holy in one another?” While the challenges of becoming a beloved community to one another are endless, these questions are simple. We quickly recognized that all courageous conversations begin with simple questions and the curiosity to truly listen. We landed on our leading question, “I’ve been meaning to ask…” because it conveys intentionality, warmth, curiosity, and consideration. In essence, this question also implies the following statements: “I’ve been thinking about you and I’ve been wanting to check in… You’ve been on my mind… I haven’t known how to have this conversation, but I’m getting started with a question.” The ellipses symbolize the main objective of this series: to cultivate courageous conversations—and to keep having them, even if we need to pause. May this series help us to behold each other as images of the divine. May it help us strengthen our capacity for empathy and compassion. May it remind us of the power of asking unassuming questions. May it show us that courage is rooted in the heart. Through vulnerability and authenticity, may our courageous conversations lead us to glimpse hope, joy, and beauty—and to become the community God created us to be.

Rev. Lauren Wright Pittman , one of the creators offers this reflection: “During the pandemic, I’ve experienced a general sense of feeling pulled apart—like my relationships are slowly and inexplicably being ripped apart at the seams. With mounting isolation, incendiary social media posts, distrust, conspiracy theories, and divergent news broadcasts, I’ve seen this chasm emerge. People I’ve loved and respected for my whole life have become like strangers to me, and bridging that divide feels impossible. Conversations that were once simple have now become like walking in a minefield. I think we’ve lost sight of the nuance and complexity of our neighbors and even those closest to us. We cling to labels, assumptions, and limited understandings, using them as materials to construct barriers and false, insufficient caricatures of one another. I long to return to the wisdom of our common humanity. This worship series theme feels necessary, if not inevitable. I’ve been meaning to ask. . . this phrase implies intention and interest. It’s a starting point; one that feels familiar, warm, and inviting. I believe this theme models a way of finding connection through curiosity. Can we dismantle our barriers and discover one another again? Or maybe for the first time? Perhaps we’ll find courage through these conversations, and together, find a new way forward. That’s my hope, at least.” —

This question- Where are you from, honors that Everyone has a story to tell. Our stories are messy and beautiful, painful and hopeful—being written and rewritten over time. We commit to disrupting our assumptions and staying curious by asking each other this question. In the coming weeks we will ask the questions, where does it hurt, what do you need and where do we go from here but first we must understand each other’s stories.

In order to build connection and trust, we need to listen to each other’s stories and experiences to learn who and what has shaped us. We also need to feel seen and known for who we are. Formed from the dust and God’s very breath in the garden of Eden, we have a common home, a shared birthplace, and a collective calling: to sustain and care for all of creation. The story of Jesus calling the disciples provides a helpful charge for the whole series: to “come and see” what the journey holds

In response to the genesis scripture we heard this morning, Dr. Raj Nadella writes, At some point in our lives, most of us have been asked that loaded question, “Where are you from?” I often wonder how Adam/humanity might have responded to it. Obviously, Adam was from the ground. But there are important details that merit attention and God is in those details. God formed humanity from the dust of the ground and breathed into their nostrils the breath of life, making Adam a living being. How exactly did God breathe into Adam’s nostrils? God utters things into existence in Genesis 1 but is more hands-on in this chapter. God forms humanity, makes all kinds of trees grow out of the ground, plants a garden, and lets water flow from the garden. Later, God takes Adam and puts them in the garden to till it. So, I can picture God carefully crafting different parts of the body, then kneeling over Adam and breathing the breath of life into nostrils. Much of this story is about mutuality, symbiosis, and interdependence. Adam was formed from the ground and was, in turn, asked to till it. The Hebrew word abad has the connotation of doing labor for the land and serving it. Adam comes from the land and is sustained by it, but also serves the land. Similarly, there is a symbiotic relationship between other parts of creation. The earth gave rise to the river and the river, in turn, watered the garden. God is in the middle of this story breathing the breath of life but also promoting mutual, life-giving relationships between different parts of creation. As people of faith, how do we foster relationships that are defined by mutuality? Are we engaging in life-affirming practices that breathe life into others—both human and non-human? —

In john when Jesus invites the disciples to come and see He invites them to be curious. They call him rabbi which is just one aspect of who he is- teacher. But Jesus is so much more as we all are so much more than the bits and pieces people see us as. We are more than just our job title, our label as parent or spouse or even the smaller labels of uptight or easy-going or helpful or intelligent. We are many things at once. Are we curious about all the parts that someone is or do we let our assumptions decide who someone is? The disciples being curious- accepted Jesus’ invitation to come and see, spent the day with him and in the end, called him messiah- they devoted time and energy to know Jesus better and they did. What would our world look like if we did this with one another? Isn’t our whole world structured around relationships- learning listening responding helping- Jesus’ promise that things are being made new comes true when we decide to be curious about one another- when we invest in relationship and realize that is the ultimate goal of humanity. In this I believe we could relieve more suffering, pain, injustice, phobias, racism,- if our goal was to know one another like Jesus knows us and like Jesus invites us to know him.

Our question today becomes- How do we cultivate deeper curiosity that grants a fuller understanding of others, especially those who look, dress, and think differently? It requires an investment of sufficient time and resources to learn about them, a commitment to unlearning prior assumptions when needed, and a healthy curiosity that engages others while respecting their space. When have you? experienced or witnessed this kind of curiosity that is consensual, contagious, and a two-way street. How are you cultivating deeper curiosity that grants a fuller understanding of others? How would you feel if someone was curious about your life? About the things you feel are different or hard or uncertain about in your life? We all have something- something we feel isn’t normal or people wouldn’t understand. Something that makes us feel insecure or embarrassed or ashamed. Something we feel we need to explain but how would it feel if someone made us feel as if they genuinely were curious and not judgemental about said thing- wanted us to explain not to explain it away but to bring it about. We feel the need to explain why our marriages are the way they are, or why our spouses are they were they are or why or how our kids turned out the way they did- you might feel the need to explain your parenting or why your family of origin is the way it is or why you don’t feel comfortable in a place or space that someone else does. It’s exhausting. What freedom if people actually wanted to learn why people were the way they were, what they actually felt, and how they could help with a genuine curiosity that added to their life rather than for judgment or entertainment. Maybe you are lucky enough to have someone in your life you can tell anything to and know it will be met with understanding and empathy. If you do, you know what a gift that is- if you do, you owe it to be that person for someone else.

Our next question is where does it hurt- which I think is fitting because I think before we can be truly empathetic and curious we have to first acknowledge that someone is hurting- when we do that we become less judgemental and more curious. Something happens if you can do this. When I was at the VA- I would meet and talk with people who had done some really bad things- convicted murders, rapists but I was so surprised that instead of judgment- I was genuinely curious about their story and how they got here. Their pain whether deserved or not unlocked something inside of me that wanted to truly know them and understand them. Sure, my job was to provide them spiritual guidance and help them obtain peace in their lives but as fellow human beings- not our titles of police officers, judges, lawyers- all those have their place but as human beings isn’t our goal to help all have peace- isn’t that what it means to be transformed by God? Ask yourself how you can deepen your curiosity about those that are different from you- those you don’t understand. Amen.